Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile mobile-phones outweigh the advantages?

The cell
phones
, which we have been using,
it
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apply
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provides
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provide
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us with a great deal of convenience and benefits,
nevertheless
it could
make
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cause
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some drawbacks
for
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to
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people
's
life
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lives
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.
Although
there are too many positives
for
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to
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obtaining information and
doing
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apply
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communication
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communicating
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effortlessly, some individuals are getting less active by using
phones
wrongly. More recent
decedes
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decades
mobile
phones
have been giving diverse opportunities for
people
. One of the finest
side
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sides
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of it is getting in touch easily.
This
possibility makes
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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life better.
That is
to say, in order to speak with whoever, it will not require too much effort. Apart from that, as a result of communication ,
distribution
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the distribution
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of data is getting quicker than
previous
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in previous
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years.
For instance
, over the past years, to inform some rules or somewhats , they had to gather every
citizens
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citizen
show examples
in one place, but it is arduous to do so.
Therefore
, with reference to
people
, it is
useful
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a useful
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tool to be aware
about
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of
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all quickly.
On the other hand
,
while
individuals find other handy ways of using
phones
, some influencers have already found the methods utilising
it
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them
show examples
negatively
Change the word
negative
show examples
. The main reason
of
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for
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that,
it
Add a missing verb
is it
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really
disturbes
Correct your spelling
disturbed
disturbs
and
it
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apply
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attracts humans
,
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apply
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so
that
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apply
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it is hard to concentrate on one thing fully now.
For example
, many parents have observed that, in
students
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students'
student's
show examples
lives the massive distruber has already been mobile
phones
,
due
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and due
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to
this
their learning efficiency is being reduced.
Thus
, there are
also
negatives which can interrupt
people
, especially when they need to focus on their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned
that
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apply
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, even though there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
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lot of detrimental aspects of it, beneficial features are dominated constantly. Owing to
this
,
people
can not overcome from drawbacks
it
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apply
show examples
easily because they have
adopted
Correct your spelling
adapted
show examples
to
this
type of life.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, ensure each paragraph is focused on a single idea and flows smoothly from one point to the next. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Providing more specific examples and elaborating on your points would strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive. For instance, you could include statistics or studies related to phone usage and its impacts.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, try refining them to be more impactful. Clearly state your stance in the introduction and summarize your key points more succinctly in the conclusion.
task achievement
Work on articulating your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Avoid vague statements and ensure each idea or argument is thoroughly explained.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is present and effective.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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