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Band 4

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might be the case ? do you think this is a positive or nagative situation ?

#countries #home #people #case #nagative #situation
Many
people
 argue that it is best to own a home,
while
 others argue that it is better to rent one. I am of the opinion that living in our own houses gives feelings of comfort and security. By owning a
house
,
people
 do not have to worry about accommodations.
For example
, when getting married, couples want to find a permanent place to settle down
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and feel comfortable enough to renovate
according to
 their needs.
Moreover
, owning a
house
 means
people
 do not have to deal with the challenges of renting,
such
 as dealing with landlords, paying rent, and finding suitable housemates.
As a result
,
people
 choose to buy houses because they want to live in the same place for a long time and to feel truly at home when they return there. Buying a
house
 requires a large amount of money,
this
 could motivate
people
 to work harder and spend more reasonably. Nowadays, there are lots of financial tools from other sources to buy a
house
such
 as bank loans. Thanks to these tools,
people
 can save money or use their money for other purposes and buy their dream
house
 at the same time.
However
, using financial tools is
also
 risky as
people
 may lose everything to pay for their debts.
Therefore
,
people
 should carefully consider their financial capabilities before getting a
house
 by any method.
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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines what you will discuss in the essay. Adding a brief conclusion can provide closure to your arguments.
Content Development/Task Response
While your ideas are clear and relevant, strive to develop them more comprehensively. Try to explore different perspectives and address potential counterarguments.
Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Transitional words or phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
Support/Examples
Further elaborate on specific examples to support your points more effectively. Adding real-life scenarios or statistical evidence can strengthen your arguments.
Thesis Clarity
The essay has a clear stance that is maintained throughout, providing a sense of direction to the reader.
Content Relevance
Relevant points have been raised about the pros and cons of owning a house, reflecting a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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