It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

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Some people believe that in the modern era, it is difficult to avoid the influence of media on their lives. There are many advantages,
although
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there might be some negligible drawbacks. The most important aspect to consider is that, at present, a number of young
individuals
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depend on social media
platforms
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for purposes
such
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as education, updating their knowledge, and more.
This
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means that most young
individuals
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prepare for various competitive examinations and obtain knowledge from online
platforms
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.
This
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is beneficial for them, as they can
enroll
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enrol
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in online courses at affordable prices from the comfort of their homes. They
also
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receive individual classes from online teachers with flexible timing.
As a result
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, it improves their marks in school and university.
Moreover
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, Some
individuals
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learn languages to improve their communication skills through online
platforms
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because it helps them secure high-paying jobs in multinational companies (MNCs). They take lessons and purchase courses on these
platforms
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. Eventually, some
individuals
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achieve high-paying jobs in major industries. There are some drawbacks to social media
platforms
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. Most
individuals
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spend a lot of time on different online
platforms
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, chatting with their friends and family.
However
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,
this
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reduces face-to-face interaction and weakens social relationships with their families and friends. It
also
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increases health conditions
such
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as diabetes, obesity, hypertension, eye strain, and others, which
further
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reduce face-to-face interaction and weaken relationships. In conclusion, online
platforms
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offer various advantages,
such
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as online education and the development of communication skills.
However
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, they
also
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reduce face-to-face interaction. I believe that the merits outweigh the demerits.
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task achievement
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the task comprehensively. While you discuss both advantages and disadvantages, elaborating further on the disadvantages could provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
Try to expand on your examples and explanations. Providing more specific examples and explanations can strengthen your arguments and make your ideas clearer to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas with a greater variety of cohesive devices. While your essay flows well, adding subtle connecting phrases could enhance the reader's comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the topic effectively, mentioning both the benefits and drawbacks of living in a media-rich society.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a good logical flow, making it easy to follow your argumentation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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