In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of helth and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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It is often thought that in several countries, the common amount of extra weight is growing and time of physical
activity
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and well-being level is going down. There are
number
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a number
the number
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of reasons for
this
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to happen,
in
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and in
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this
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essay
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essay,
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they will be discussed and given solutions
to
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apply
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. One of the first
problem
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problems
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is that the popularity of fast food and other unhealthy meals has dramatically increased recently. They contain
the
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an
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amount of fat and sugar
that is
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much larger than in homemade food,
therefore
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people
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gain weight without changing
theirs
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their
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activity
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. Another major problem is
passive
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the passive
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lifestyle
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. Because of business, work and
overall
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activity
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habits
people
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tend to sit most of the day, resulting in certain
health
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problems developing. It is important to take
actions
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action
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to prevent consequences that are more serious.
Government
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The government
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should spend more budget and increase
popularity
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the popularity
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and accessibility of a healthier
lifestyle
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, by giving
people
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motivation to be more conscious of
a
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apply
show examples
health
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importance,
for example
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doing a TV program with easy and healthy food recipes or building more approachable fitness centers.
People
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themselves
also
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have to make changes. Revising
lifestyle
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and choosing what is better for them will help a lot. Switching to bikes as a way of transportation and cooking homemade meals for a week
in
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at
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weekends, if they do not have enough time, are great ideas to start with.
To conclude
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,
health
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and
bodyweight
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body weight
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are frequent problems these days. They are caused by
busy
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a busy
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lifestyle
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, but could be easily changed. Being more
considered
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considerate
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of eating and
activity
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habits would change a lot, government’s
health
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department should
also
Linking Words
take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear but could be more concise. Work on providing a clearer thesis statement that previews the main points.
task achievement
Examples provided are somewhat generic; include more specific examples or statistical data where possible.
task achievement
Elaborate more on the solutions. While the essay mentions what governments and individuals can do, these points can be further developed to make a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay identifies clear causes and solutions to the problem, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • high-fat, high-sugar, high-calorie foods
  • obesity
  • recreational facilities
  • emotional eating
  • cultural shift
  • convenient food options
  • physical activity levels
  • mental health issues
  • fast food
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