Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With an ever-increasing concern about the relation between economic

wealth

Use synonyms

and happiness, some

individuals

Use synonyms

have opined that economic

increase

Use synonyms

in rich

countries

Use synonyms

does not imply more

satisfaction

Use synonyms

for their

citizens

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will,

however

Linking Words

, provide some reasons why I firmly disagree with the given opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, some

individuals

Use synonyms

argue that an additional

increase

Use synonyms

in the economy in a rich country would not bring

further

Linking Words

satisfaction

Use synonyms

citizens

Use synonyms

. From the perspective of

individuals

Use synonyms

, they have been suffering from a sense of desire and feelings

due to

Linking Words

circumstances where those are not the materials that can be solved with economic

wealth

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, those

individuals

Use synonyms

can not benefit from an additional

increase

Use synonyms

in economic

wealth

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, compared to non-wealthy

countries

Use synonyms

, wealthy

countries

Use synonyms

have shown the highest suicide rates which proves that being economically wealthy has less impact on an individual's

satisfaction

Use synonyms

of life. In spite of those reasons mentioned above, I completely contend that an additional

increase

Use synonyms

in economic

wealth

Use synonyms

does make its

citizens

Use synonyms

more satisfied. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments and moving to other

individuals

Use synonyms

can illuminate a different perspective. The

most

Correct word choice

highest

show examples

priority is to maximize their mental and physical well-being, and

this

Linking Words

consequently

Linking Words

demonstrates the increased life quality standards through enough financial provisions

such

Linking Words

as high-quality education and work-life balance.

Therefore

Linking Words

, an additional

increase

Use synonyms

in economic

wealth

Use synonyms

would be beneficial for

citizens

Use synonyms

for their sense of happiness.

Moreover

Linking Words

, other factors must be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between the increased economic

wealth

Use synonyms

and the

satisfaction

Use synonyms

citizens

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, some

individuals

Use synonyms

argue that an additional

increase

Use synonyms

in economic

wealth

Use synonyms

in rich

countries

Use synonyms

will not satisfy the

citizens

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, making

citizens

Use synonyms

satisfaction

Use synonyms

more achievable will require more considerations, and

thus

Linking Words

most relevant parties in the society should be entirely involved for more sustainable advantages.

rachael0124Thu Jun 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Currently, the essay lacks concrete instances or studies that could strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. A few sentences are slightly unclear, which can affect the overall readability of your essay.

task achievement

Clear stance: You have very clearly stated your position on the topic and maintained it throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Logical organization: Your essay is well-organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Solid main points: The main arguments you presented are coherent and relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
An increasing number of individuals facing health issues have turned to alternative medicines and treatments instead of consulting their usual healthcare providers. This essay raises important questions about the effectiveness and safety of alternative therapies, as well as their impact on overall health outcomes.
6.5
band
It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, some people argue that allocating public money to promote a healthy lifestyle is more vital than spending it on treating people who are already ill.I think both perspectives are equally important. This essay will present both perspectives.
6
band
You are the manager of a restaurant that has received a letter of complaint about poor service from a member of your staff. Write a letter of apology to the person who has complained. In your letter, – say how sorry you are that the person has had a poor experience – explain what action has been taken against the staff member – offer a free meal for four people at the restaurant as a gesture of goodwill
Hope this letter finds you well.I am writing this letter to apologize for the bad service which you had face last day at my restaurant.
6.5
band
In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this statement?
Some believe that in the future, everyone will no longer buy physical newspapers and books due to the new technology that is developing platforms for reading. In my opinion, I disagree with people who believe that way, as not all access to reading materials is free and reading on books gives different experiences.
7.5
band
Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There is a belief that when professional athletes behave badly, whether on or off the court, it has a negative impact on young people's perceptions. However, I disagree with this point of view, as sports stars are exemplary models of discipline and commitment that everyone should strive to emulate.

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this statement?

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.