Reserarch show that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. what is the causes of this ? what can be done ?
There are two kinds of
activities
that are healthy and unhealthy, but millions of individuals practice bad activities
such
as watching movies or playing video games. I will explain why many people
prefer unhealthy activities
more than healthy activities
and some solutions for this
problem.
The main reason is most unhealthy activities
do not need effort
to do and there is enjoyment, unlike healthy Change the article
the effort
activities
which require physical effort
. Therefore
, a large number of people
do these activities
such
as watching movies do not require physical effort
, it would require only the internet and smart devices. In addition
, the other cause is the lack of information about types of healthy activities
such
as swimming and playing football. Many people
do not know what activity fit them and some individuals do not feel enjoyment when doing some healthy activities
. There is not a lot of information about good activities
and bad activities
not need
the Wrong verb form
needing
effort
to do these activities
contributes to a decrease number of people
who do not like healthy activities
.
Healthy activities
should be enjoyable for people
. Most people
prefer activities
that are more enjoyable and they spend a lot of time doing these activities
. So governments ought to find solutions to this
issue, form this
solution is make it enjoyment
. Replace the word
enjoyable
Furthermore
, Governments should provide information about the kinds of healthy activities
such
as sports activities
. They ought to support these activities
that play an important role in healthy people
. They support these activities
by spreading data about how to correct practice and establishing centers
for these Change the spelling
centres
activities
that include equipment tools, and specialists.
In conclusion, activities
are divided into two types healthy and unhealthy, most people
do unhealthy activities
because of the lack of data about healthy activities
, and it is not enjoyable. Hence
, governments should support healthy activities
and make more enjoyable activities
.Submitted by a2100b2100 on
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task achievement
Try to use more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points. For instance, you could provide specific cases where people choose unhealthy activities over healthier ones and the impact of such choices.
task achievement
It's important to elaborate more on the solutions provided. Explain how making healthy activities enjoyable can be practically achieved and give concrete examples of successful initiatives or programs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transitional phrases and words can improve coherence and help the essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
It might be helpful to structure your paragraphs better. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that highlights the main point of that paragraph and ensure all sentences within the paragraph support that main point.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
task achievement
You have identified and discussed both causes and solutions, which is good for a balanced response.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?