Your friend is about to celebrate a landmark birthday and would welcome suggestions as to how it should be celebrated. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • say what type of party should be held e.g. themed, fancy dress, black tie event • suggest a suitable venue • make recommendations as to entertainment e.g. DJ, jazz band

#friend #landmark #birthday #suggestions #type #party #e #g #dress #tie #event #venue #recommendations #entertainment #dj #jazz #band

Dear Joseph,

Last

week I got an E-mail from you. In that

mail

Correct your spelling

show examples

, you asked

some

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for some

show examples

recommdations

Correct your spelling

recommendations

about the

birthday

celebrations. Next month your

son

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son's

show examples

first

birthday

is coming and you are planning to celebrate that party tremendously. Here, I give some suggestions.

Firstly

, all

party

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parties

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should

be conduct

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conduct

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some competitions

then

only that event will make them happy for all participants. To illustrate,

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at my

show examples

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at my

show examples

cousins

Change to a genitive case

cousin's

cousins'

show examples

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daughter's

show examples

daughter

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daughter's

show examples

birthday

Fix the agreement mistake

event

show examples

events

Fix the agreement mistake

event

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there was a puzzle competition

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

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organized and prices

also

Add a missing verb

were also

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awarded

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apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

two ago. Here, you can try to arrange dance

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

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, because

this

make

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makes

show examples

them enjoyable for all.

Secondly

, the best place to conduct

this

party is

hotel

Capitalize word

Hotel

show examples

Maris

this

is a 3-star hotel and the first floor contains a large hall and it can

accommadate

Correct your spelling

accommodate

more than one hundred

person

Change to a plural noun

people

show examples

at one time.

Moreover

, our company

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

conducted

business

Add an article

a business

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meeting

last

year at

this

hotel

with

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the

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affordable rate.

Finally

, all parties typically conduct some music show, because

this

type

event

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of event

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can make the guests feel more relaxed and comfortable.

Hence

consider

this

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

be possible to arrange

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apply

show examples

your

son

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son's

show examples

birthday

celebration. Kindly, consider my advice and I will come with my family. Best Regards Thomas.

Submitted by smsundaram57 on Thu Jun 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

task achievement

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance readability.

task achievement

The letter has a friendly and welcoming tone, which is appropriate for writing to a friend.

coherence cohesion

The letter contains a clear greeting and closing, making it easy to follow the structure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

198 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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