The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the information about travellers coming to visit Ashdown Museum throughout the prior and following year that it was developed. The charts present the percentage of observations which is how visitors responded
while
visiting through the two different periods.
Overall
, it can be seen that the resulting number of tourists was higher after the museum renovation.
Moreover
, there were more satisfactory feelings and less disappointed thoughts afterwards development. Looking at the year before development, the total figures of tourists visiting
this
museum accounted for 74,000. The
further
is that satisfaction and extremely satisfied were merely 30 and 15, respectively. It can be witnessed that people
disappointed
Add a missing verb
were disappointed
show examples
and a dramatic dissatisfaction, with the figures being a majority proportion at 40 and 10, orderly. Post following period, the sum of travellers is a significant increase of 22,000.
Moreover
, it can be observed that many people agree that satisfied and greatly pleased by 10 and 20, in order.
In addition
, unsatisfactory and extremely unpleased feelings are lesser than
last
year, with the figure being from 40 to 15 and from 10 to 5, respectively.
Finally
,
observants
Change the capitalization
Observants
show examples
ignore to be responsive as the same as the period before refurbishment.
Submitted by arunrak.wk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor numbers
  • satisfaction levels
  • very satisfied
  • satisfied
  • neither satisfied nor dissatisfied
  • dissatisfied
  • very dissatisfied
  • survey results
  • comparison
  • impact
  • effectiveness
  • visitor experience
  • overall improvement
  • increase/decrease in visitors
  • positive feedback
  • negative feedback
  • visitor survey
  • survey period
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!