Discipline is a growing problem in modem schools. Some people think that parents should discipline their own children, while others think it should be the responsibility of the school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Discipline

is widely recognized as a crucial trait for the future generation.

However

, whether

parents

or schools should primarily be responsible for

this

is still a controversial matter. In

this

essay, I will argue that family influences are paramount in forming

children

discipline

Initially

parents

play a crucial role in disciplining their

children

. They are the first individuals who shape their

children

’s characteristics through daily exposure and requirements.

For example

, many mothers now require their

children

to brush their teeth and clean their play areas after relaxation. When

parents

consistently reward duties,

such

as giving praise or a small gift after

children

complete tasks, it helps lay a solid foundation of

discipline

from an early age.

Conversely

, constructive criticism or appropriate punishment for incomplete tasks can enhance

children

’s self-control.

Consequently

, maintaining a hygienic environment improves

children

's health and instils a habit of cleanliness, reducing irresponsible behaviours like littering.

Children

who develop meticulous habits are less likely to make careless mistakes,

such

as errors in academic tests.

Nevertheless

, schools

also

play an important role in training students. In high school,

children

are educated in a disciplined environment where they need to eliminate distractions and focus on self-studying with the support of tutors. Students must maintain

this

habit to keep pace with their peers

instead

of falling behind. They are required to read tutor-recommended materials before participating in lessons.

As a result

children

such

environments strengthen their

discipline

, achieve more goals, and enhance their academic outcomes.

To conclude

, both

parents

and schools are accountable for instilling

discipline

children

While

parents

lay the foundation through daily activities, the school environment and habits intensify

this

trait. Ultimately, I believe that parental influence is the most important factor.

Submitted by lenam2k1 on Thu Jun 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear response to the task prompt by discussing both views and clearly stating your opinion. However, you could provide a bit more depth and development of your arguments to enhance clarity and comprehension.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-organized into clear paragraphs with appropriate introductions and conclusions. The transitions between points are mostly smooth. However, ensure that each point is sufficiently developed to maintain coherence and clarity throughout.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting the stage for a well-structured argument.

task achievement

Your examples, such as the parents' role in teaching discipline through daily habits and rewards, are relevant and help to effectively support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Discipline is a growing problem in modem schools. Some people think that parents should discipline their own children, while others think it should be the responsibility of the school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast food. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional foods while others believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: explain what you like bout the cafeteria say what is wrong suggest how it could be improved

Waste disposal presents increasing problems, especially in urban areas. What do you think are the causes? Give some suggestion to the government and individuals on how to reduce the amount of rubbish.

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors, may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.