Discipline is a growing problem in modem schools. Some people think that parents should discipline their own children, while others think it should be the responsibility of the school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Discipline
is widely recognized as a crucial trait for the future generation. Use synonyms
However
, whether Linking Words
parents
or schools should primarily be responsible for Use synonyms
this
is still a controversial matter. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will argue that family influences are paramount in forming Linking Words
children
's Use synonyms
discipline
.
Use synonyms
Initially
, Linking Words
parents
play a crucial role in disciplining their Use synonyms
children
. They are the first individuals who shape their Use synonyms
children
’s characteristics through daily exposure and requirements. Use synonyms
For example
, many mothers now require their Linking Words
children
to brush their teeth and clean their play areas after relaxation. When Use synonyms
parents
consistently reward duties, Use synonyms
such
as giving praise or a small gift after Linking Words
children
complete tasks, it helps lay a solid foundation of Use synonyms
discipline
from an early age. Use synonyms
Conversely
, constructive criticism or appropriate punishment for incomplete tasks can enhance Linking Words
children
’s self-control. Use synonyms
Consequently
, maintaining a hygienic environment improves Linking Words
children
's health and instils a habit of cleanliness, reducing irresponsible behaviours like littering. Use synonyms
Children
who develop meticulous habits are less likely to make careless mistakes, Use synonyms
such
as errors in academic tests.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, schools Linking Words
also
play an important role in training students. In high school, Linking Words
children
are educated in a disciplined environment where they need to eliminate distractions and focus on self-studying with the support of tutors. Students must maintain Use synonyms
this
habit to keep pace with their peers Linking Words
instead
of falling behind. They are required to read tutor-recommended materials before participating in lessons. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
children
in Use synonyms
such
environments strengthen their Linking Words
discipline
, achieve more goals, and enhance their academic outcomes.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, both Linking Words
parents
and schools are accountable for instilling Use synonyms
discipline
in Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
While
Linking Words
parents
lay the foundation through daily activities, the school environment and habits intensify Use synonyms
this
trait. Ultimately, I believe that parental influence is the most important factor.Linking Words
Submitted by lenam2k1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task prompt by discussing both views and clearly stating your opinion. However, you could provide a bit more depth and development of your arguments to enhance clarity and comprehension.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized into clear paragraphs with appropriate introductions and conclusions. The transitions between points are mostly smooth. However, ensure that each point is sufficiently developed to maintain coherence and clarity throughout.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, setting the stage for a well-structured argument.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the parents' role in teaching discipline through daily habits and rewards, are relevant and help to effectively support your points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example