Some people think that it's important to spend a lot of money on family celebration (e.g. weddings, birthdays). But some people say that expensive celebrations are a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #money #celebration #e #g #weddings #birthdays #celebrations #waste

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It is argued, that

surtain

Correct your spelling

certain

individuals highly recommend spending on special

occations

Correct your spelling

occasions

while

others

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

.In

this

essay ,I will discuss both perspectives to

illstruate

Correct your spelling

illustrate

the logic behind it.

Firstly

, For the

people

who consider paying a great

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of expenses regarding a

celebraion

Correct your spelling

celebration

. they

beileve

Correct your spelling

believe

that investing an amount of money is worth it in order to have the perfect

ceromony

Correct your spelling

ceremony

. So they

priorities

Replace the word

prioritise

show examples

materials

Correct your spelling

For

for example

, there was a study that

analaysed

Correct your spelling

analysed

analyzed

that

people

spent 45% of their savings to pay for weddings . which is a large number

esspecialy

Correct your spelling

especially

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can differ depending on the culture and

socitey

Correct your spelling

society

. On the other side , For

people

who think that spending too much is a waste of money ,

They

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

beileve

Correct your spelling

believe

that

people

should focus and

charish

Correct your spelling

cherish

the memorable event

instead

of focusing on materials , in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

opinion,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

do agree with

this

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Because

while

it is great to have an

enourmerous

Correct your spelling

enormous

party , It shouldn't

negitavely

Correct your spelling

negatively

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

their savings . They could invest it in assets that would

genrate

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generate

dividens

Correct your spelling

dividends

therefore

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

have a higher return that would benefit them in the long-term

instead

of wasting it in a

surtain

Correct your spelling

certain

event. In conclusion ,

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

even though everyone has a different point of view it depends on the

individuals

Change to a genitive case

individual's

individuals'

show examples

income and how it

effects

Replace the word

affects

show examples

their stability .

Submitted by nouf.alkhalaifi2 on Thu Jun 13 2024

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grammar

Improve grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and correct spelling (e.g., change 'surtain' to 'certain').

coherence

Enhance coherence and cohesion by providing clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring a logical flow of ideas.

examples

Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points (e.g., different cultures, different types of celebrations).

introduction

Work on the introduction to be more engaging and clear about what you will discuss. Merge it seamlessly into the body paragraphs.

task response

Clarify your position more effectively in your opinion and link it more directly to the discussion paragraphs.

content

Good understanding of both perspectives and a balanced discussion.

reasoning

Formulates an opinion and attempts to support it with logical reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

226 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

extravagant
financial strain
milestones
lavish
materialistic
long-term investments
humanitarian aid
familial bonds
well-planned
industries such as catering, photography, and venue hire
emotional aspects
significant money
significant milestones

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Some people think that it's important to spend a lot of money on family celebration (e.g. weddings, birthdays). But some people say that expensive celebrations are a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment; others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness’. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?