Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that pople have the responsibilty to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many individuals believe
hat
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
packaged
products
should be sold
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturers and shopping malls,
in contrast
, other
people
dispute that it is necessary for
people
's responsibilities when buying
products
with less packaging. In my opinion, I entirely agree with the belief that we should buy
products
which
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
less packaging for several reasons and
also
discuss both advantages and disadvantages. There are many
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
that make the shopping alls or
manufaturers
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
fewer packaged
products
.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
obivious
Correct your spelling
obvious
issue is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the big impact on the environment.
This
can lead to many disasters
such
as
drough
Correct your spelling
drought
droughts
,
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
,.. by using nylon or plastic to package
products
.
This
is why many
people
think about the idea that packaged
products
should be
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
less by the manufacturers and shopping malls to improve the quality of
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
.
Furthermore
, reduce using these plastic things can cause more carbon dioxide
ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
also
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the amount of greenhouse gases which can
effect
Verb problem
be
show examples
harmful to the
environent
Correct your spelling
environment
and
people
's health.
On the other hand
, these problems
Change the verb form
are
show examples
is not just cause
Change the verb form
is not just caused
show examples
by manufacturers or shopping malls but
also
by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. The first issue is that buying too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
packaged
products
are
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
desire so
people
also
play an
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
role in
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large number of
packeaged
Correct your spelling
packaged
packages
products
. What is more
hamful
Correct your spelling
harmful
shameful
, it
also
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
harm to
people
's environment and state, especially human's health. In conclusion, I strongly support the belief that
people
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
reduce the consumption of packaged
products
due to
their
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
tp
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
protect both the environment and health. It can improve the quality of the air and reduce
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
occur
Replace the word
occurrence
show examples
of disasters which can do harm to
people
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.

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clarity
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Some points are a bit difficult to understand due to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Taking time to proofread your work can help.
examples
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
depth
Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed with equal depth. While you have touched on both views and given your opinion, expanding on these points with more detail would improve your task achievement score.
structure
You effectively presented both views and provided a clear opinion, which is key to a balanced discussion.

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