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It is sometimes considered that school education should be paid attention to academic subjects, which would be useful for their future careers, but I think some personʼs decision should be appreciated who has a talent for acting and wish subjects like music and sport .

#school #education #attention #subjects #future #careers #personʼs #decision #talent #music #sport
1) It is sometimes considered that school education should be paid attention to academic subjects, which would be useful for their future careers, but I think some personʼs decision should be appreciated who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a talent for acting
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
wish
subjects
Change preposition
for subjects
show examples
 like music and
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
. 3) Environmental issues
such
 as pollution and climate change inflict any person in the world because of more
careless
Replace the word
carelessness
show examples
. I believe if global decisions are made reconsider to
decline
Correct article usage
the decline
show examples
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 problems , it certainly take steps to address
this
 situation. 4)In some states, there is a growth in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of parents selecting house literacy for their children
while
this
 will increase improvement
due to
 the
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
concentrated
Replace the word
concentration
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 himself alone,
as a result
 child cannot compare his knowledge with his peers, he will suffer to know himself education level.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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introduction conclusion
The introduction in each section could be made clearer and more engaging to better capture the reader's attention.
logical structure
Make sure to logically structure your arguments. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by relevant examples or arguments.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is supported by specific and relevant examples. This not only strengthens your argument but also makes your essay more persuasive.
logical structure
Revise the essay to avoid run-on sentences and ensure clearer division of ideas. This will improve coherence and readability.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider rephrasing or restructuring sentences that are difficult to understand; this will help in making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make a habit of revising and checking your work to correct grammatical mistakes and improve readability.
task achievement
You have raised important issues regarding school education, environmental issues, and homeschooling, which shows your awareness of current global and social concerns.
supported main points
The essay includes multiple perspectives on each issue, which is a good approach to showing a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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