The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job

#school #library #applicants #job #summer #library’s #manager #introduction #skills

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I am writing a

job

Use synonyms

application in your library office for

permanent

Add an article

a permanent

show examples

employee. I have been

member

Add an article

a member

show examples

of Quaid e Azam

library

Capitalize word

Library

show examples

since 2019 and I

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

studied

Change preposition

during

show examples

my exam days.

This

Linking Words

library has huge

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

books and it helped me a lot in my Master's degree. When I was looking for

vacancy

Correct article usage

a vacancy

show examples

Rephrase

apply

show examples

then

Linking Words

I saw the

job

Use synonyms

ad on the board.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, particular field I decided to send you my resume and tell you about my experience

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

position. I had been working for 2 years when I left my

job

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

my mother's illness.

Although

Linking Words

, the Smart Call

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

I was being worked as a receptionist.

The

Change the word

show examples

communication skills are good

as well as

Linking Words

bilingual languages knowledge

English

Change preposition

of English

show examples

and Turkish.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, guiding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new clients

Verb problem

has

show examples

also

Linking Words

added

Change preposition

show examples

my experience.

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

is being

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

worked for 2 years at

Use synonyms

job

Correct pronoun usage

my job

show examples

but my circumstances

was

Verb problem

have

show examples

changed so I quit my

job

Use synonyms

and from that day I

Verb problem

have

show examples

not doing any

job

Use synonyms

. As I mentioned I have an excellent experience and knowledge for

this

Linking Words

position so please consider my application.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I need

this

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

because I have to run my family and It is impossible without

any

Correct determiner usage

show examples

job

Use synonyms

. If you see my CV I assure you I will be the right person for

this

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Yours Sincerely,

Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on Thu Nov 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

The letter lacks a clear logical structure with ideas not flowing naturally from one to the next. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear purpose and that ideas within paragraphs are well-connected.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter should adhere to the formal conventions of letter writing. Including a proper salutation and closing formula is essential.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and provide relevant details related to that idea. This helps maintain clarity and coherence throughout the letter.

task achievement

The response is incomplete as it does not adequately cover all the points required by the task. Ensure to include a brief introduction of yourself, detail your experience and relevant skills, and explain why you want the job in distinct, well-developed paragraphs.

task achievement

The tone of the letter at times shifts away from the suitable formal writing tone expected in job applications. Maintain a consistent, professional tone throughout the letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

235 words

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The school library is seeking applicants for a job over summer break. Write a letter to the library’s manager, in your letter include: – A brief introduction of yourself – Your experience and relevant skills – Why you want the job

The Greeting

Some people think that the most practical way to become a professional is to gain practical experience in this field. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?