IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people are no longer writing letters now. Some people think the traditional skill of writing letters will disappear. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is impossible to imagine a life without
telecommunication
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,
therefore
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 some believe that traditional
letters
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 written on paper and delivered by post will fade out.
Although
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 I acknowledge that
telecommunication
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 does undermine handwritten
mails
Fix the agreement mistake
mail
show examples
 to some extent,
this
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 tradition will not be completely replaced. It is absolutely true that communication technology has revolutionised how we contact others. The application of
telecommunication
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 devices
such
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 as phones and computers
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 people to exchange information regardless of time and geographical limitations at one touch of a button. It is much more efficient than sending
letters
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, which
acquires
Verb problem
require
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 days or even months to reach the recipient.
This
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 is particularly pronounced in
commercial
Add an article
the commercial
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 world, where directors of multinationals can coordinate different subsidiaries instantly via electro-communication to catch fleeting business opportunities.
On the other hand
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, despite the above
benefit
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benefits
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 generated by
telecommunication
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, handwritten
letters
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 create a connection that modern, impersonal forms of communication will never approach. A letter received from another takes on an extra level of meaning because of the distance it travels and the care
and
Correct word choice
apply
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thought and time dedicated
on
Change preposition
to
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 it rather than quick typing on the keyboard. In many cultures, handwritten
letters
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 have been the gold standard for demonstrating affection.
Letters
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 bring another irreplaceable advantage: they can be stored and archived for later viewing.
Although
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 we can send thousands of SMSs and have inboxes with countless emails, after we pass on, the record of our existence will be drowned in spam emails and electric waves. Without
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
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, not only our traces of existence
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 a large amount of cultural heritage would
also
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 be lost for future analysis.
For example
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, it is impossible to achieve deep comprehension of Jane Eyre without Charlotte Bronte’s Heger
letters
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. In conclusion,
letters
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 written by hand will definitely not disappear, because
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 merits cannot be substituted by
telecommunication
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,
however
Linking Words
 convenient the latter makes people’s lives and works.

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minor correction
Ensure to proofread for small errors, such as 'acquires days' which should be 'requires days.'
stylistic
Try to vary sentence structures more to improve fluidity and engagement.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough response to the prompt by discussing both sides effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph presents a single clear idea that enhances readability and coherence.
task achievement
The tone is appropriate for an IELTS essay, maintaining formality throughout.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas and strong use of examples like Charlotte Bronte’s letters bolster the argument.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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