IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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It is argued that governments should invest in
railways
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instead
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 of
roads
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. I completely agree with
this
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 point of view because
railways
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 are more environmentally friendly and can
also
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 be more economical. It is my view that funding
railways
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 and encouraging
people
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 to use them more can be highly beneficial.
As a result
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 of making
railways
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 more accessible to the public,
people
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 will be more willing to use them which can lead to a better environment and reduces air pollution.
Moreover
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,
railways
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 are more convenient in congested urban areas where parking is limited and a high number of
cars
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 on
roads
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 can result in heavy traffic which can be very annoying to
people
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.
In addition
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, using
railways
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 and any other means of public transportation is much cheaper and time-saving than travelling by car.
In contrast
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, some
people
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 claim that governments should emphasize more
roads
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 as they are better for short trips and
cars
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 can be safer and more comfortable for
people
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. They firmly insist that driving
cars
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 and travelling on
roads
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 is more comfortable and public transport is often slow and unreliable.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing because nowadays modern public transportation and
railways
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 are highly standard and governments must ensure that frequent and reliable public transportation is available for each citizen. In conclusion, I completely agree with funding
railways
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instead
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 of
roads
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 because they can help to reduce pollution in cities and they are
also
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 much cheaper and faster than
cars
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 and they would
also
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 ease traffic congestion.
Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider using clearer topic sentences and making sure each paragraph has a single, focused idea.
task achievement
Providing more specific, relevant examples would strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and the essay covers different aspects of the topic effectively.
task achievement
The response is complete and thoroughly addresses the prompt.
task achievement
The ideas are clear, comprehensive, and logical.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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