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Band 6

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #benefit #development #child #mother #father #classes
Parenting is challenging for
parents
, especially amateur couples who have their first
child
. Some individuals believe that taking parenting courses should be mandatory for
parents
. In my opinion, I mostly agree with
this
 statement because taking part in
child rearing
Add a hyphen
child-rearing
show examples
classes
 is beneficial
although
 working couples may be unable to afford to attend the
classes
. On the one hand, before having a
child
, few adults may learn how to raise a
child
. Preparing to take care of a baby can be difficult because people, particularly working generations, are busy with work, hobbies and family.
Therefore
, taking rational
child
-rearing
classes
 can bring them various advantages.
However
, they seem to have hardly time to participate in these
classes
due to
 the hustle and bustle of their lives.
On the other hand
, young
parents
 probably receive various merits from parenting courses.
Firstly
, these lectures are usually academic and updated. Considering research and study, experts will teach mothers and fathers how to rear a
child
 efficiently and smoothly.
This
 knowledge relating to
child
 development may be useful.
Secondly
, joining lectures can bring participants a good opportunity to interact with each other. In the meetings, young
parents
 can share their distress and troubles about
child-rearingbaby
Correct your spelling
child-rearing baby
 rearing.
Additionally
, new
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 built in the events will contribute to a more fulfilled parenting life. In conclusion, I believe taking
classes
 on learning how to raise a
child
 is important because of knowing cutting-edge knowledge and building a new relationship.
However
, some working couples maybe hard to spend their time taking part in the events. In
such
 a case, another governmental support may be needed.
Submitted by atsutaka_aratame on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure you use a consistent and clear structure throughout your essay to improve coherence. For example, you may use phrases like 'On the one hand...' and 'On the other hand...' effectively, but make sure there is a smooth flow from one point to the next.
task achievement
Make sure to include specific examples that relate directly to the points you are making. This will help strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Address possible counterarguments more clearly. For example, when mentioning working couples' difficulties in attending classes, propose more concrete solutions or alternatives.
introduction
The essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the main argument. This helps readers understand your position from the start.
conclusion
You have provided a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your position, which gives the essay a sense of completion.
supported main points
Your essay includes relevant ideas related to the topic, such as the benefits of parenting classes and the challenges faced by working couples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • discipline techniques
  • conflict resolution
  • child development stages
  • parental confidence
  • unified approach
  • parenting roles
  • child-rearing
  • preventative measure
  • effective communication
  • common pitfalls
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