IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household.
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The first pie chart illustrates the use of power for household purposes in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and the second pie chart displays how many greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 from the usage of
this
Linking Words
 power.
Overall
Linking Words
, heating and
water
Use synonyms
 heating are the main purposes of energy use in
Australia
Use synonyms
. It can
also
Linking Words
 be seen that
water
Use synonyms
 heating and other appliances contribute the most to
Australia
Use synonyms
's
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. The main reason Australians use the power is for heating, with 42%, followed by
water
Use synonyms
 heating, at 30%. Other appliances take part in 15% of the usage purpose. The other three reasons, which are refrigeration, lighting, and cooling, have less than a tenth for each, with 7%, 4%, and 2%, respectively.
This
Linking Words
 energy left an effect
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
, in which
water
Use synonyms
 heating is the main cause of the emission and contributes to 32% of the total causes. The second main cause is other appliances, which gives 28%. Heating and refrigeration contribute 15% and 14% of
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
, respectively. Lighting gives 8% to the total emission,
while
Linking Words
 cooling only contributes 3%.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, gas, emissions, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy consumption
  • household
  • heating
  • water heating
  • total energy use
  • household appliances
  • refrigerator
  • washing machine
  • lighting
  • cooling
  • miscellaneous energy uses
  • average household
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