In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

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It is true that some popular
people
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today have gradually become “standard” for the younger generation.
While
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I accept that
this
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opinion may suit many youngsters, I myself believe that there are other factors that are
also
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important. On the one hand, I agree role models that famous
people
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make young
people
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learn good things from them, gain more motivation and aim for good things in the future.
For example
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, celebrities can inspire young
people
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through their achievements in various fields like arts, sports and science.
Besides
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, some famous
people
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do many community activities
such
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as volunteering in poor places, environmental protection campaigns, and calling
people
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to act for the good of the world,…
On the other hand
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, some celebrities
people
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have unethical
behavior
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behaviour
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,
unrealistic
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and unrealistic
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standards, or
they
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apply
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are too passionate about material things and themselves that they ignore others. But most young
people
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today take their shiny appearance, their way of dressing,... They try to be exactly like your idol, accidentally become a "Copy" of someone else, losing themself and their ego creates style in each person. I don't call these passions "idolization", but temporary passions because in the end they just follow a general trend or a momentary moment of madness. In conclusion, I believe that some famous
people
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today become “Standard” for younger because many reasons. Their ability to motivate and educate young minds on pressing global issues stands out. It can
also
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cause celebrities' lives to deteriorate
due to
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bad activities
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coherence cohesion
In your essay, ensure that each paragraph distinctly supports a single main point. Sometimes, combining too many ideas in one paragraph may lead to confusion for the reader.
task achievement
When presenting examples, ensure they are detailed and directly related to the main point you are discussing. For instance, mentioning specific celebrities and their impacts would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on avoiding repetitive phrases and structure, such as 'On the other hand' repeatedly. Try using synonyms or varying your sentence structure to maintain reader interest.
task achievement
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement. This can improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points, which helps in maintaining focus.
task achievement
You display a commendable attempt to balance the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, which adds depth to your analysis.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • celebrity culture
  • aspirational
  • negative influences
  • unrealistic body images
  • discernment
  • amplifying
  • guidance
  • perceptions
  • activism
  • charity work
  • overshadowing
  • endorsements
  • consumer behavior
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