In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?
It is true that some popular
people
today have gradually become “standard” for the younger generation. While
I accept that this
opinion may suit many youngsters, I myself believe that there are other factors that are also
important.
On the one hand, I agree role models that famous people
make young people
learn good things from them, gain more motivation and aim for good things in the future. For example
, celebrities can inspire young people
through their achievements in various fields like arts, sports and science. Besides
, some famous people
do many community activities such
as volunteering in poor places, environmental protection campaigns, and calling people
to act for the good of the world,…
On the other hand
, some celebrities people
have unethical behavior
, Change the spelling
behaviour
unrealistic
standards, or Correct word choice
and unrealistic
they
are too passionate about material things and themselves that they ignore others. But most young Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
today take their shiny appearance, their way of dressing,... They try to be exactly like your idol, accidentally become a "Copy" of someone else, losing themself and their ego creates style in each person. I don't call these passions "idolization", but temporary passions because in the end they just follow a general trend or a momentary moment of madness.
In conclusion, I believe that some famous people
today become “Standard” for younger because many reasons. Their ability to motivate and educate young minds on pressing global issues stands out. It can also
cause celebrities' lives to deteriorate due to
bad activitiesSubmitted by lyhuongclc on
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coherence cohesion
In your essay, ensure that each paragraph distinctly supports a single main point. Sometimes, combining too many ideas in one paragraph may lead to confusion for the reader.
task achievement
When presenting examples, ensure they are detailed and directly related to the main point you are discussing. For instance, mentioning specific celebrities and their impacts would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on avoiding repetitive phrases and structure, such as 'On the other hand' repeatedly. Try using synonyms or varying your sentence structure to maintain reader interest.
task achievement
Be cautious of minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement. This can improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main points, which helps in maintaining focus.
task achievement
You display a commendable attempt to balance the discussion by presenting both sides of the argument, which adds depth to your analysis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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