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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives information about 3 types of
food
Use synonyms
 which Australian teenagers consumed between 1975 to 2000. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 trend,
it is clear that
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 declined over time
while
Linking Words
pizza
Use synonyms
 and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 were eaten increased.
To begin
Linking Words
 with that, in 1975
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 were at the top of the consumed
food
Use synonyms
 100
times
Use synonyms
 eaten
whereas
Linking Words
pizza
Use synonyms
 and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to appear. Next decade in 1985
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 was equaled amount with
food
Use synonyms
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
 which consumed approximately 85
times
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
.
pizza
Use synonyms
 began to grow and was eaten 30
times
Use synonyms
. In 1995, the number of eaten
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 was at the top of the list a little more than 100
times
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year
Use synonyms
, at the same time
pizza
Use synonyms
 was probably 85
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
 which was popular in 1975, dropped and stayed at
last
Linking Words
 on the list in 1995 with 50
times
Use synonyms
 eaten by teenagers and still falls. In 2000, the amount of fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumed by teenagers has not changed, but
fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 reached no more than 40
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others averaged 90-92
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, fish, chips, pizza, hamburgers, times, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • trends
  • consumption
  • type of fast food
  • popularity
  • peaked
  • hit a low
  • timeline
  • notable
  • switch
  • cultural trends
  • economic factors
  • marketing efforts
  • increase
  • decrease
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