IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Can hunting be considered a sport ? Agree or Not agree?

It is sometimes argued that hunting should be a sport because it can develop human skills. Meanwhile, hunting
have
Change the verb form
has
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 many concerns
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 to be
cosidered
Correct your spelling
considered
.
On
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, hunting can be a sport.
However
Linking Words
, it should
rule
Wrong verb form
be ruled
show examples
 by law and care about animal rights.
Firstly
Linking Words
, hunting may cause ecological
inbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalance
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. In some
counteries
Correct your spelling
countries
, there may
hold
Verb problem
be
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 trophy hunting. Those events encourage
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 to kill more and more animals because
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the goal.
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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BBC News,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trophy hunting
made
Wrong verb form
has caused
show examples
 over 300000 animals
died
Change the verb form
to die
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 since 2000. That makes many
aniamls
Correct your spelling
animals
 cannot find their
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
. The report
also
Linking Words
mention
Change the verb form
mentions
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 trend will
be rise
Change the verb form
rise
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 if there is no change.
Secondly
Linking Words
, hunting sometimes is illegal and
afford
Correct subject-verb agreement
affords
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 ethical considerations.
Use synonyms
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
show examples
 care more care about animal rights nowadays.
However
Linking Words
,
peoples
Use synonyms
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
hunts
Change the verb form
hunt
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 just for fun. In my opinion,
that is
Linking Words
 not an
accpectable
Correct your spelling
acceptable
 reason to hurt the animals. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can hold some classes to teach
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
hunt
Add the particle
to hunt
show examples
 in
corrertly
Correct your spelling
correctly
.
For example
Linking Words
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
State
Replace the word
States
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
attempt
Wrong verb form
attempted
show examples
 to find some
hunter
Fix the agreement mistake
hunters
show examples
 to teach
Use synonyms
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
like hunting. That can be a solution to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. In conclusion, hunting can be a sport.
However
Linking Words
, it should
rule
Wrong verb form
be ruled
show examples
 by law
due to
Linking Words
 ecological balance and animal rights.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and presents a clear stance on the topic. However, there are a few points where your arguments could be more clearly articulated. For example, it would be beneficial to more explicitly state why hunting can develop human skills.
task achievement
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that hinder clarity. For instance, "afford ethical considerations" should be "raise ethical considerations." Pay attention to correct verb forms and pluralization, such as "peoples" should be "people."
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, providing a good structure to your essay. However, connections between sentences and ideas could be improved. For instance, ensure you are using transitions and conjunctions effectively to show how ideas are related.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from adding more specific examples and elaboration on the existing ones. For instance, your second paragraph mentions a BBC News report but does not fully explain its relevance.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your essay coherently.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the issue and provided examples to support your points, making your response relevant to the task.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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