Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you disagree or agree?

In recent years, the issue of residing in urban

areas

Use synonyms

which is not beneficial to people’s health has heightened the preference of people. From my point of view, I would not side with

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is reasonable to note that the detrimental surroundings of big cities pose a threat to humans’

well being

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well-being

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. The chief of

this

Linking Words

is that nowadays, the environment in the capital is contaminated, which makes individuals concerned about their strengths. Take

Linking Words

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, the figure of severe petroleum-based containers trigger water pollution which may result in digestive diseases to residents. To assert more credence to my assertion, the amount of carbon dioxide in cities’ atmosphere released from a wide range of private transportation has lethal influences on individuals' respiratory and cardiovascular systems.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is urban

areas

Use synonyms

that are

unfavorable

Change the spelling

unfavourable

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to citizens’

well being

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well-being

show examples

However

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

the disadvantages of crowded cities to people's strengths are widely acknowledged, there are abundant facilities to support people’s health. Nowadays, urban

areas

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are well-equipped with high-tech hospitals with professional teams of doctors and cutting-edge machines working for medical purposes. Unlike the rural regions, hospitals are

under-developed

Correct your spelling

underdeveloped

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with rudimentary tools which can not provide residents the most effective method to cure.

Thus

Linking Words

, with the support of advanced facilities, people who reside in metropolises are meticulously preserved. In conclusion, I agree that urban

areas

Use synonyms

may do more good than harm to inhabitants’ strengths, it is an undeniable fact that

hustle

Correct article usage

the hustle

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and bustle

cities

Change preposition

of cities

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may pose some threats to

humans’

Fix the agreement mistake

human’

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health

due to

Linking Words

the disadvantageous environment.

hominhtrang995

Jun 14, 2024

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specific examples

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logical structure

Try to maintain a clearer structure by having distinct paragraphs for each main point you present. This will help in ensuring better coherence and cohesion.

general vocabulary

Use more varied vocabulary and avoid repetition to enhance your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and sophisticated.

structure

You have introduced and concluded your essay effectively, providing a clear stance on the topic.

content

Clear and comprehensive ideas are presented throughout the essay, showcasing your understanding of the topic.

task response

The essay addresses the task and provides a complete response to the question, weighing both sides of the argument.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban environment
respiratory issues
pollution
fast-paced lifestyle
noise pollution
health facilities
mental health
physical activities
nature contact
health problems

What to do next:

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Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you disagree or agree?

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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