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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Discuss the benefit of home education versus school education

Whilst some caregivers think that home discipline is better for
children
Use synonyms
 as they give more attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 than regular schools,others think that regular literacy can be more beneficial for learners. In my humble opinion , I think regular teaching methods are better in many ways
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 on social levels. On one hand,some
parents
Use synonyms
 think that protecting their offspring
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 avoiding interacting with students
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can change their
children
Use synonyms
's performance and their attitude.
For instance
Linking Words
,shy
children
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 after going to
school
Use synonyms
 ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 develop an aggressive attitude sometimes and their change in style can
last
Linking Words
 for years.What can be said is that aggressive action that learners can develop through interacting with each other can be the reason for
parents
Use synonyms
 to avoid regular
school
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 pathways.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,most caregivers prefer the traditional way of learning as it develops a lot of social behaviour experiences for their offspring that they can not meet at home.
Thus
Linking Words
,most
parents
Use synonyms
 push their
children
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 to go to
school
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 to learn subjects
as well as
Linking Words
 behavioural traits.An example of that,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 learners at
school
Use synonyms
 developing a way of interacting with each other and forming circles
and
Correct word choice
where
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 they can meet friends.
Such
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 traits are priceless and hardly to find these traits in home-educated pupils.
Finally
Linking Words
,after reviewing both ideas that people may have towards both self-education and traditional
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of learning ,I can easily say that with some guidance and
carefully
Change the word
careful
show examples
 teaching methods, teachers can easily change all educators' conduct to get positive outcomes.
Thus
Linking Words
,no need for
parents
Use synonyms
 to educate their offspring at home as student interaction is very critical especially when it comes to shaping their behaviours.

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Grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy to ensure your sentences are well-formed.
Sentence Structure
Using more varied sentence structures can make your essay more engaging and can help clarify your points.
Examples from Experience or Research
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and add credibility to your assertions.
Structure
You have provided a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.
Balanced Argument
The essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages of home education and school education, addressing both sides of the argument.
Clear Opinion
You have expressed your opinion and justified it, making your stance clear.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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