Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #teachers #be

The profession of teaching has slowly lost its popularity among young

people

. It can be argued that teaching was no longer a promising

career

one could have among other reasons.

This

essay will elaborate

further

this

issue. Back in the old times,

people

were more likely to choose teaching as a profession because it was

such

honorable

Change the spelling

honourable

show examples

career

one could have. Take Indonesia

for example

. In my parents' childhood time, teachers were very respectable

due to

their nature in education for the future of the nation,

therefore

many

people

like to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

because it was

such

a novel thing to become.

However

, many

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

changed in

this

generation. Technology is one of the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

changing

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, and it changed the worldview in almost everything, especially on how

people

choose a

career

. With

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology

people

can have access to many educational resources,

hence

the independency to learn alone is very high.

Thus

, a

teacher

is no longer needed because

people

can learn by themselves.

Additionally

, the wage system for educators at

this

current time is very weak, making it even more difficult to have a

teacher

profession. In conclusion, based on my views, being a

teacher

is a novel

career

, but it lacks something to offer for the younger generation in terms of benefits and a promising future.

Submitted by jermias.darondo89 on Fri Jun 14 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, but it could improve its logical structure by ensuring all points are fully expanded. Consider adding more detailed arguments and examples to provide a complete response to the task.

Task Achievement

The essay clearly identifies reasons why young people might not want to become teachers, such as the impact of technology and low wages. However, it misses addressing the "how could this be changed?" part of the task. To improve, ensure both parts of the question are fully addressed.

Task Achievement

While the essay presents clear ideas, it could benefit from more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures. Try to include a wider range of synonyms and transitional phrases to improve readability.

Introduction and Conclusion

The introduction clearly states the issue and sets up the discussion effectively. This helps the reader understand the purpose of the essay from the beginning.

Introduction and Conclusion

The conclusion concisely summarizes the essay and reiterates the main point clearly, providing closure to the argument.

Supported Main Points

The essay provides relevant examples, such as the reference to Indonesia and the influence of technology, which help to make the arguments more concrete and relatable.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Word Count

Today, the media portrays young people as lazy and disrespectful. Do you think this is true? Are young people today worse than their parents, or does every new generation get criticized by older people?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures yourth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more?

Human activities over the period of time have increased global warming. What are the primary causes? What solutions can you suggest?