Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
The profession of teaching has slowly lost its popularity among young
people
. It can be argued that teaching was no longer a promising career
one could have among other reasons. This
essay will elaborate further
on this
issue.
Back in the old times, people
were more likely to choose teaching as a profession because it was such
an honorable
Change the spelling
honourable
career
one could have. Take Indonesia for example
. In my parents' childhood time, teachers were very respectable due to
their nature in education for the future of the nation, therefore
many people
like to be a
Correct article usage
apply
teacher
because it was Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
such
a novel thing to become.
However
, many has
changed in Change the verb form
have
this
generation. Technology is one of the reasons of
Change preposition
for
this
changing behavior
, and it changed the worldview in almost everything, especially on how Change the spelling
behaviour
people
choose a career
. With the
technology Correct article usage
apply
people
can have access to many educational resources, hence
the independency to learn alone is very high. Thus
, a teacher
is no longer needed because people
can learn by themselves. Additionally
, the wage system for educators at this
current time is very weak, making it even more difficult to have a teacher
profession.
In conclusion, based on my views, being a teacher
is a novel career
, but it lacks something to offer for the younger generation in terms of benefits and a promising future.Submitted by jermias.darondo89 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, but it could improve its logical structure by ensuring all points are fully expanded. Consider adding more detailed arguments and examples to provide a complete response to the task.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly identifies reasons why young people might not want to become teachers, such as the impact of technology and low wages. However, it misses addressing the "how could this be changed?" part of the task. To improve, ensure both parts of the question are fully addressed.
Task Achievement
While the essay presents clear ideas, it could benefit from more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures. Try to include a wider range of synonyms and transitional phrases to improve readability.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction clearly states the issue and sets up the discussion effectively. This helps the reader understand the purpose of the essay from the beginning.
Introduction and Conclusion
The conclusion concisely summarizes the essay and reiterates the main point clearly, providing closure to the argument.
Supported Main Points
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the reference to Indonesia and the influence of technology, which help to make the arguments more concrete and relatable.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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