Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #teachers #be

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The profession of teaching has slowly lost its popularity among young

people

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. It can be argued that teaching was no longer a promising

career

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one could have among other reasons.

This

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essay will elaborate

further

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this

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issue. Back in the old times,

people

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were more likely to choose teaching as a profession because it was

such

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honorable

Change the spelling

honourable

show examples

career

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one could have. Take Indonesia

for example

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. In my parents' childhood time, teachers were very respectable

due to

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their nature in education for the future of the nation,

therefore

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many

people

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like to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

because it was

such

Linking Words

a novel thing to become.

However

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, many

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

changed in

this

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generation. Technology is one of the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

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changing

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, and it changed the worldview in almost everything, especially on how

people

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choose a

career

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. With

the

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apply

show examples

technology

people

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can have access to many educational resources,

hence

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the independency to learn alone is very high.

Thus

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, a

teacher

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is no longer needed because

people

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can learn by themselves.

Additionally

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, the wage system for educators at

this

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current time is very weak, making it even more difficult to have a

teacher

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profession. In conclusion, based on my views, being a

teacher

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is a novel

career

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, but it lacks something to offer for the younger generation in terms of benefits and a promising future.

Submitted by jermias.darondo89 on Fri Jun 14 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, but it could improve its logical structure by ensuring all points are fully expanded. Consider adding more detailed arguments and examples to provide a complete response to the task.

Task Achievement

The essay clearly identifies reasons why young people might not want to become teachers, such as the impact of technology and low wages. However, it misses addressing the "how could this be changed?" part of the task. To improve, ensure both parts of the question are fully addressed.

Task Achievement

While the essay presents clear ideas, it could benefit from more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures. Try to include a wider range of synonyms and transitional phrases to improve readability.

Introduction and Conclusion

The introduction clearly states the issue and sets up the discussion effectively. This helps the reader understand the purpose of the essay from the beginning.

Introduction and Conclusion

The conclusion concisely summarizes the essay and reiterates the main point clearly, providing closure to the argument.

Supported Main Points

The essay provides relevant examples, such as the reference to Indonesia and the influence of technology, which help to make the arguments more concrete and relatable.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perceived low salary
deterrent
heavy workload
expectations beyond regular working hours
societal esteem
technological skills
teacher training programs
financially rewarding
working conditions
class sizes
public appreciation programs
societal development
comprehensive training programs
classroom management strategies

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Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Word Count

People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

With access to internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree?

Your recently visited a store and didn't like the customer service there. Write a complaint letter to the store manager and say -What was the issue there? -Why wasn't the staff helpful? -Suggest what can be done about it