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Band 2.5

Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?

#history #people #society #haven #element #world
It is sometimes argued that
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
 society cannot exist. I completely agree that high-level life could be able by several items and
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 do the major role to achieve that
gool
Correct your spelling
goal
.
Firstly
,
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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 education could prevent ignorance which means big
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
.
For example
, if
vast
Correct article usage
the vast
show examples
 majority have special learning normally they will be more confident about
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
professionaly
Correct your spelling
professional
professionally
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. worthwhile that preserving the environment can
sophistication
Replace the word
sophisticate
show examples
 individuals.
While
 people
corporate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
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 and organize
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
 the opportunities for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life could easily
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the more
importance
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important
show examples
 thing to make a good society is
corporation
Add an article
a corporation
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, individuals need to improve themselves first
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 assess the bad habit to replace it with beneficial
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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such
 as repeatedly
useing
Correct your spelling
using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plastic bags to reusing paper
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 so they can
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the impact of claimant change.
Also
, learning languages to tackle the issues to understand
foreigners
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foreign
show examples
 people. In conclusion,
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 life
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 many
criteria's
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criteria
show examples
 and I would argue that people have to
promoted
Change the verb
promote
show examples
 schemes to live in
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
.
Submitted by shahad.san966 on

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task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy. There are several grammatical errors that affect readability (e.g., 'cannot exist', 'could be able by').
task achievement
Improve vocabulary and word choice to ensure correct usage (e.g., 'high-level life', 'vast majority').
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph stays on topic and that transitions between ideas are smooth.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing elements of an ideal society and ways to achieve it.
coherence cohesion
Both paragraphs have clear main ideas (education, cooperation) which are relevant to the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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