Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?

#history #people #society #haven #element #world

It is sometimes argued that

perfect

Correct article usage

a perfect

show examples

society cannot exist. I completely agree that high-level life could be able by several items and

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

do the major role to achieve that

gool

Correct your spelling

goal

Firstly

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

education could prevent ignorance which means big

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

For example

, if

vast

Correct article usage

the vast

show examples

majority have special learning normally they will be more confident about

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

professionaly

Correct your spelling

professional

professionally

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

. worthwhile that preserving the environment can

sophistication

Replace the word

sophisticate

show examples

individuals.

While

people

corporate

Correct your spelling

cooperate

show examples

and organize

sociaty

Correct your spelling

society

the opportunities for

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

life could easily

success

Replace the word

succeed

show examples

On the other hand

, the more

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

thing to make a good society is

corporation

Add an article

a corporation

show examples

Change preposition

For

show examples

intance

Correct your spelling

instance

, individuals need to improve themselves first

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

assess the bad habit to replace it with beneficial

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

such

as repeatedly

useing

Correct your spelling

using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

plastic bags to reusing paper

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

so they can

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduce

show examples

the impact of claimant change.

Also

, learning languages to tackle the issues to understand

foreigners

Replace the word

foreign

show examples

people. In conclusion,

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

life

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

many

criteria's

Change noun form

criteria

show examples

and I would argue that people have to

promoted

Change the verb

promote

show examples

schemes to live in

ideal

Correct article usage

an ideal

show examples

sociaty

Correct your spelling

society

Submitted by shahad.san966 on Fri Jun 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Work on grammatical accuracy. There are several grammatical errors that affect readability (e.g., 'cannot exist', 'could be able by').

task achievement

Improve vocabulary and word choice to ensure correct usage (e.g., 'high-level life', 'vast majority').

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph stays on topic and that transitions between ideas are smooth.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance the argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing elements of an ideal society and ways to achieve it.

coherence cohesion

Both paragraphs have clear main ideas (education, cooperation) which are relevant to the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

169 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
some people think car-free day is an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are more effective way of doing. Discuss both views and your personal point of view.
Every nation is still looking for the right solution to increasing their air quality. One of the believed ways to lower the use of vehicles on some special days as it reduces the emitted emission that contaminates the air. However, air contamination does not only come from the transportation. Therefore, some groups of people agree that this is not an efficient approach to maintain the air quality. This essay will be further analyze both views before reaching a conclusion.
4
band
the number of students that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years.What are the reasons and how can we encourage children to read more?
In a modern society, reading books has falled dramatically, especially in young generation, they tend to like other cutting-edge devices. Some people think it comes from many reasons. Therefore, we should encourage children to read books in many different ways.
6
band
) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Youngsters are the backbone of every economy. A part of society believes that young people should take part in some voluntary work for the welfare of society while, others reject this notion. Honestly, I partially agree with the above testimonial. Therefore, I will explicate the reasons behind this viewpoint in upcoming paragraphs thus will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
7
band
Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that jail is necessary for all criminals, as opposed to others who believe they can impress in the community with working or learning, instead of jail. From my perspective, we can make efficient use of criminals.
5.5
band
what should young people do to contribute to the harmony and diversity of school environment?
As the future generation, students are pivotal in exploring the large world. Improving cultural diversity and inclusivity is crucial now more than ever. To create a better future, we can instruct the students on how they can contribute to improving the progress of integrating diversity and inclusivity in educational environments all over the world.

Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?

Word Count

some people think car-free day is an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are more effective way of doing. Discuss both views and your personal point of view.

the number of students that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years.What are the reasons and how can we encourage children to read more?

) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all the lawbreakers should be taken into the prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. (for example, doing some work or learning some skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

what should young people do to contribute to the harmony and diversity of school environment?