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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that car users should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The neuroscience is clear: Our brains are capable of processing only a fraction of the information available to them, and we have a fixed amount of mental
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 at our disposal, regardless of how much we want or need
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 any given moment.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, our brains use as little mental
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as possible whenever possible. It isn’t laziness — it’s fuel efficiency. The bottom line is that there is a limit to how much thinking we can do and how much
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is available to us on any given day, so it’s essential that we spend our precious mental
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 deliberately and thoughtfully. We can’t afford to waste it on things that serve to distract and deplete us in harmful ways. So, what’s a good approach to avoid wasting our finite
energy
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 on that which doesn’t serve us? A budget, of course, to forecast resources, estimate
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs

It seems that need may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, and create a plan for future decision-making. But for our minds? A “cognitive budget” is hardly a natural pairing of concepts. Our days are unpredictable, and our brains don’t work like spreadsheets, so a cognitive budget will necessarily be sloppy. But creating one, and revisiting it often, allows us to enact proactive and reactive strategies that leave us happier with more effective minds. Our unconscious minds play a much larger role in our lives than many of us realize, including helping to protect us emotionally and functionally from the challenges of everyday life — from debilitatingly painful feelings to massive information overload. In his book Thinking, Fast and Slow, psychologist and
behavioral
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behavioural

The spelling of behavioral is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 economist Daniel Kahneman describes two types of thinking that provide a conceptual understanding of unconscious
behavior
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behaviour

The spelling of behavior is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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.
System
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 1 thinking is easy, fast, intuitive, and emotional.
System
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 2 thinking is hard, slow, intentional, and logical. Compare the act of driving home from work (
System
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 1) with driving somewhere you’ve never been before without using a GPS (
System
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 2). One takes a lot more work than the other. We have only so much
System
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 2 thinking available over the course of the day, so we naturally spend as much time in
System
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 1 thinking as possible. (Many studies indicate that 90% to 95% of our decisions are made unconsciously.)

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task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive explanation about how our brains are capable of processing information and the importance of managing mental energy. However, to fully adhere to the topic, which is about funding for road systems, make sure to directly address both views on whether the government or car users should cover these costs.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, include clear paragraphs that target specific points of your argument. For example, begin with an introduction that outlines the issue, followed by separate paragraphs discussing both perspectives, and conclude with your opinion.
task achievement
The essay effectively introduces the concept of ‘cognitive budget’ and integrates it well with the idea of how our brain’s mental energy can be efficiently used.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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