some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their abiliy to form personal relationships. other believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Whether social
media
platforms have a negative impact on young generations and their ability to form personal relationships or
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
them chances to bring
people
together beneficially bears some consideration.
This
essay supports the side that these sites bring users together in a beneficial way
due to
their convenience and the number of
people
using those platforms. It should be understood that social
media
applications are now very convenient. Within a touch, we can add friends, chat or do anything because it is very easy even for the elderly.
For instance
, my 80-year-old grandmother is a Facebook user and she is
also
an online volunteer as well.
Therefore
, convenience is one of the key factors that makes
this
writer agree with the point.
Additionally
, the number of users worldwide is increasing every minute
This
belief is based on the fact that everyone now has an average of 1.71 phones, a recent research showed, and because of that,
people
tend to have more than an account on social
media
.
For example
, I have 3 Facebook accounts which are for business, family and hobbies.
Hence
, user number and convenience are the two key reasons that affect
people
so much to use social
media
and
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
are the factors that made
this
writer personally think that it helps
people
a lot in communicating.
Thus
, it should have been demonstrated that social
media
really helps
people
bring everyone together beneficially and others should change the way they think about
this
issue.
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coherence cohesion
While your introduction is clear, providing a brief overview of the essay's structure could make it stronger. This helps readers know what to expect.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try to include a summary of key points or future implications in your conclusion to make it more comprehensive.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument and stating your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and contribute to the overall structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear and logical, making it easy to follow your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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