IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Discuss both views and give reasons.

#people #travel #countries #tourism
Whether travelling these days is easier than in the past bears some consideration.
This
 essay is to the side that it is beneficial for
people
 to travel to different nations for tourists because of the convenience of transporting and the price of the
ticket
. It should be recognised that technology now allows
people
 to travel conveniently. The reason is that there are many choices to choose from, planes, ships, trains or any transporting device.
For instance
, in the past, Emirates Airlines had just 3 aeroplanes, but now they have over 300
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
That is
 one of the reasons that makes
this
 author believe in the theory. It should
also
 be understood that visas and security now have a lot of steps to check in order to ensure that no one would do anything illegal.
This
 belief is based on the fact that there are more crimes being committed than it was in the past.
This
 may be true, but it
also
 delays the departing time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and makes customers lose their belief. From the writer's point of view, the price of a single
ticket
 anywhere is now cheaper.There are many studies pointed out that
ticket
 prices dropped sharply since the COVID-19 pandemic.
This
 may help the tourism economy to recover since visitors choose cheaper choices to go.
As a result
, many
people
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
 just like
this
 author, think that travelling to different countries is now easier than it used to be. In general, convenience and
ticket
 price are the two main factors that visitors care about, and
also
 the things make
this
 essay is to the side that it was harder to travel in the past compared to nowadays.
Therefore
,
people
 should change the way they think about the issue mentioned.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed and specific examples are given to support the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Increase the clarity of the ideas by organizing them more logically and ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Proofread the essay to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that might confuse the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument about whether travelling is easier now compared to the past.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion contributing to the essay's logical flow.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant points about the convenience of transport and ticket prices which are well connected to the main topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: