In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on boliday. do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, several
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
decided to
spent
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spend
show examples
their spare time outside the
country
for tourism and enjoyment of the cold weather in the
west
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western
show examples
countries.
However
, Other
group
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groups
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of people think that staying in their own
country
is more beneficial for them and for
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
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country's
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budget as well.
Moreover
, in my opinion, the
numbers
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number
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of travellers
envolving
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involving
evolving
whom
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who
show examples
travelling by car and
through
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by
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plane
are dramatically increase
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are dramatically increased
are dramatically increasing
show examples
compare
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compared
show examples
to the
last
centruy
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century
for many reasons.
First
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The first
show examples
reason, the facilities of transportation for travel
purpose
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purposes
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nowadays
having
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have
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more options like
,
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apply
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car,
plan
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plane
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and boat.
This
is very helpful and valuable for
whom
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those who
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afraid
from
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of
show examples
travelling by plane. So, they can travel by car throughout the
strightforward
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straightforward
road.
Seocnd
Correct word choice
The second
show examples
reason, the weather is crucial and
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
the mode of people rather than, staying in
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their own
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own
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their own
show examples
country
and suffering from hot weather
especially
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, especially
show examples
in the summer season.
Therefore
, most
poeple
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people
are looking for
coldest
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the coldest
show examples
countries
such
as
United
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the United
show examples
kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
show examples
, Germany and Norway,
becuase
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because
, human nature after
complete
Wrong verb form
completing
show examples
the work and
applying
Add the preposition
applying for
show examples
leave in parallel with pupils to have
wonderful
Add an article
a wonderful
show examples
journey, they are willing to visit new places. In
shorts
Fix the agreement mistake
short
show examples
, the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people are
spenting
Correct your spelling
spending
fantastic times
while
travelling abroad with their families after
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
finshied
Correct your spelling
finished
their school.
Submitted by king999z on

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task achievement
While your essay presents several ideas and arguments, ensure you fully address the prompt. Currently, your argument is somewhat unclear on whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas should be organized logically. Consider using more transitional phrases to clearly connect your points and enhance the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
There are several grammatical errors and typos, which can make your essay difficult to understand. Proofread your work carefully to eliminate such mistakes.
task achievement
You're suggested to better develop your main ideas and provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear attempt to address the topic and you included several relevant arguments.
coherence and cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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