Some people think that in the future lots of changes will occur that will improve our society. Do you agree or disagree? What kind of changes will occur?
It is argued that a lot of changes will occur in the future that will help to develop our society. I agree with the statement because
advancement
of technology will change Add an article
the advancement
transport
system and help in the development of better education for Correct article usage
the transport
childrens
.
Primary , many changes Correct your spelling
children
would be
happen in the future ,especially in the category of Wrong verb form
will
the
transport. Correct article usage
apply
In other words
, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
vehicles currently Correct article usage
apply
using
gas fuel which is one of the essential Wrong verb form
use
element
which Fix the agreement mistake
elements
leds
to Correct your spelling
leads
release
of harmful gases Correct article usage
the release
in
the environment. Change preposition
into
For example
, TESLA launch
Wrong verb form
launched
first
electric car in the world and it is more efficient as compared to other automated cars.
Correct article usage
the first
In addition
, adavancement
in Correct your spelling
advancement
advancements
the
technology provides better education to children at Correct article usage
apply
the
school . Nowadays , youngsters can do Correct article usage
apply
distance- learning
education and ask questions from Correct your spelling
distance-learning
there
Correct your spelling
their
professor
by Fix the agreement mistake
professors
siting
Correct your spelling
sitting
any
part of the world.Change preposition
in any
For example
,rural areas are getting more developed because children can access the course online in India. Thus
, men and women are getting more educated in the rural areas due to
the positive effect of the technology.
In conclusion , a lot of positive changes in the future will shape our society in right
direction . One Add an article
the right
the
main Change preposition
of the
change
would be Fix the agreement mistake
changes
the
encouraging people to switch Correct article usage
apply
gas
vehicles to electric motors and Change preposition
from gas
other
Correct article usage
the other
will
be Wrong verb form
would
long distance
learning .Add a hyphen
long-distance
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluently.
task achievement
Work on expanding your main points with more detailed explanations and examples to ensure they are thoroughly developed.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introductory paragraph and a conclusion, which helps to make your argument more structured.
supported main points
You provided relevant specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning TESLA and distance learning in rural areas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite