Some people think crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days, in spite of, Technology improving,
crimes
and problems from them increased enormously so that, some people
believe these are a result of poverty and community matters. However
, other groups think these products are from humans who have negative
nature. Correct article usage
a negative
Although
, in my opinion
first theory is true because crime and social issues are parallel.
On the one hand, economic and social problems like offences are cause and effect. Generally, if in one region inhabitants have good income and facilities with low cost so that they don't need money or things, Add a comma
opinion,
then
the rate of crimes
will be declinnig
in Correct your spelling
declining
this
district also
, natives in this
area experience calm living. For instance
, in Japan, the number of offences are
extremely small Change the verb form
is
due to
the fact the people
have a good living and the government provides good social services so that they do not need become
thieves, robbers, or do other Fix the infinitive
to become
crimes
. Nevertheless
, Rio the Janeiro has really friendly natives, yet the economics are not good in this
zone, for we can see the rate of crime is really high.
On the other hand
, people
's personality has some effect on the offence rate. If you want something and could not
receive it, Wrong verb form
cannot
then
if you do not follow good manners, then
you do
Verb problem
commit
crimes
. To illustrate, some people
that
is
really Correct subject-verb agreement
are
reach
like to have very beautiful, Correct your spelling
rich
and
Antique devices so that when they cannot buy them they spend a lot of money Correct word choice
apply
for
thief Change preposition
to
it
.
In conclusion, both personality and social situation have some influence on Correct pronoun usage
them
crimes
, but the social economics,
and position have more and more effect in Remove the comma
apply
crimes
like Rio the Janeiro.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph follows logically from the preceding one to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Address counterarguments more comprehensively to strengthen your essay's balance.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views as required by the prompt, showing an understanding of the task.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as references to Japan and Rio de Janeiro, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which gives it a clear structure.