IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. •describe what you enjoyed about the course •say how much cooking you've done since the course •suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

#cookery #course #school #feedback #•describe #•say #ve #•suggest #offer
Dear manager, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I feel convenient with the facilities in your
course
place
. I have many friends at the
place
 and I could enjoy all of the items and facilities there.The equipment is very available and the furniture is really complete
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because I recently found a
course
place
.over there
also
 a lot of types of cooking
then
 I
get many
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 and some education about how to make cookies. I have done a lot of menu cooking and some variety of cookies.Start with burgers,brownies, pancakes and other cookies.
Then
,there is one special menu that I have made
such
 as tar cake. At the moment, I feel very happy because I have done
this
course
. There are some suggestions from me about
this
place
course
.
First,I
 suggest not accepting many students because it can make the class not conducive,
although
 the
place
 is very famous.Second,provide many boxes of rubbish in order to the
place
 keep clean. I am looking forward to
this
 letter
Correct word choice
and
show examples
to hearing from you.Thank you for your nice attention, I hope my suggest receive soon.
your
Correct the word
yours
show examples
 sincerely, ABI
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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structure
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs to present one idea per paragraph. For example, use different paragraphs to describe what you enjoyed about the course, how much cooking you've done since the course, and your suggestions.
coherence
Avoid repetition and ensure each piece of information flows logically to the next one. For example, your first paragraph can focus on your general satisfaction, and the following ones on specific points about what you enjoyed, what you've been doing since the course, and your suggestions.
grammar
Be sure to proofread your letter to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, “I feel convenient with the facilities” should be “I am pleased with the facilities,” and “I hope my suggest receive soon” should be “I hope my suggestions are received soon.”
tone
Your tone is polite and suitable for the context of a feedback letter.
details
You provided specific examples of what you have done since the course, like making burgers and brownies, which makes your feedback more concrete and valuable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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