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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph shows the proportion of the population age 65 and over between 1940 and 2040.

the graph shows the proportion of the population age 65 and over between 1940 and 2040.
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The given graph compares the percentage of
population
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the population
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 over 65
years
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 old among three different during a hundred-year period.
Overall
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, what stands out from the graph is that in all of the three countries, the ratio of elderly
people
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 to the whole population will be significantly higher in 2040 in comparison to the beginning of the given period. Regarding the time frame between 1940 and 2023, the figure for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and Sweden had similar trends until
early
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the early
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 1990s as they both rose until 1980 and
then
Linking Words
 dropped slightly. After that ,
While
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 the percentage of old age
people
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 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 levelled at below 15% in the following 20
years
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, the elderly’s proportion rose sharply and reached
to
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apply
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20% in Sweden.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Japan’s pattern of elderly
people
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 followed an initial decline until 1960, after which it remained stable for the next 30
years
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, having the lowest ratio of
advanced age
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advanced-age
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people
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 among the three countries during the whole given period. Afterwards,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Japan’s population started to get older gradually. With respect to
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 2024 to 2040,
although
Linking Words
 much sharper regarding Japan, the trend will be upward for all figures.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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