It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is debatable
wherther
it is crucial for civil planners to include public Correct your spelling
whether
spaces
for residants
to spend their free time in. In my opinion, having outdoor Correct your spelling
residents
spaces
like parks and squares
are
really Correct subject-verb agreement
is
fundemental
in any urban Correct your spelling
fundamental
city
. In this
essay, I will explain why it is essential.
Firstly
, Parks are the lungs of any moden
Correct your spelling
modern
city
. With concret buldings
all around and cars polluting the air with Correct your spelling
concrete buildings
its
exhaust, the need for green Correct pronoun usage
their
spaces
arise
. In a recent study by Oxford Correct subject-verb agreement
arises
university
about the importance of gardens in civil planning, the researchers estimated that we need at least 3 trees to 1 car ratio Capitalize word
University
tho
combat Correct your spelling
to
the
air pollution. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, people who live in a
small Correct article usage
apply
appartments
in the Correct your spelling
apartment
apartments
city
needs
open Change the verb form
need
spaces
to spend quality time in contact with nature, the researchers emphesized
that Correct your spelling
emphasised
this
is crucial for Correct article usage
the population
population
mental health and well-being.
Change noun form
population's
Secondly
, citizens need places to hang out with their friends free-of-cost
, and Correct your spelling
free of cost
squares
are the perfect place for such
activity. Squares
also
serves
as Change the verb form
serve
place
for young artists to show their talents and grow Fix the agreement mistake
places
Correct pronoun usage
their audince
audince
. In a TV show about how can young artists market their works, many of them highlighted that Correct your spelling
audience
audiences
squares
is
the perfect place to reach people who are having Change the verb form
are
fun
time and Add an article
a fun
ready
to explore new things. Add a missing verb
are ready
This
is why squares
are essential as a cultural center
for the whole Change the spelling
centre
city
.
In conclusion, I strongly advocate that public spaces
shpuld
be included in the design of any Correct your spelling
should
city
, to enable residant
to have a Correct your spelling
residents
resident
third-place
other than work and home, where they can grow and relax. Correct your spelling
third place
this
contribuate
to Correct your spelling
contribute
contributes
the
Correct article usage
apply
overall
happiness and productivity.Submitted by maryamansour11 on
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coherence
Your essay is well-structured; however, there are some minor grammatical and spelling errors that slightly affect the coherence. Ensure you proofread your work to avoid these errors and improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
You've provided a good response to the task, with clear and comprehensive ideas. Make sure all examples are relevant and clearly linked to your main points. This will strengthen your argument and overall coherence of your essay.
cohesion
While your essay is cohesive, make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively with a clear stance and relevant examples supporting your points. This shows your ability to understand and respond to the question adequately.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly outline the main points of the essay, providing a coherent flow to your writing.
cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning from one paragraph to the next.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example