Throughout the history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agrees how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make a perfect society? What do people do to achieve an ideal society

These days and
throuhout
Correct your spelling
throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history ,
people
looking for
ideal
Correct article usage
an ideal
show examples
community . So , some individuals believe that can be
possiple
Correct your spelling
possible
,
while
others
suspecious
Correct your spelling
suspicious
about it .
This
essay will discuss both ideas and will draw my personal
conculosion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand , some
people
think that the theory of
perfect
Correct article usage
a perfect
show examples
society can not be implemented in reality ground ,
due to
diversity
Correct article usage
the diversity
show examples
that
exit
Verb problem
exists
show examples
in one community
sections
Fix the agreement mistake
section
show examples
.
For instance
, the
differances
Correct your spelling
differences
difference
in the
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
backgrounds .
On the other hand
, some
idividual
Correct your spelling
individuals
believe in
this
opinion .
Firstly
they think the elements that can connect
people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
soscity outweight
Correct your spelling
society outweigh
what can differ them
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
love and forgiveness .
Moreover
,
Add an article
the
show examples
spread
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cruicial
Correct your spelling
crucial
principles
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
equality and justice
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
the society members.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
the diversity among one
community
Change noun form
community's
show examples
individuals
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
asume
Correct your spelling
assume
to be a healthy
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
. In conclusion , after analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view, I believe that if
people
respect each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
and follow the
humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human
rules and law regardless
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
religions
Fix the agreement mistake
religion
show examples
and
races
Replace the word
racial
show examples
background they will reach the ideal
socity
Correct your spelling
society
they seeking .
Submitted by ahmedaloqaili53 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Work on your introduction to make it clearer and more engaging. For instance, you can briefly mention what an ideal society means before outlining your essay structure.
relevant specific examples
Try to provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, you can mention societies or communities known for high levels of equality and justice.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes it wasn’t entirely clear what the main idea of some paragraphs was, which affected coherence.
supported main points
Make sure to explain how each element you discuss contributes to an ideal society. This will help make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
complete response
You've made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which adds balance to your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion clearly states your personal opinion, which is well-aligned with the topic and shows your stance.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!