Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can't afford. What are the reasons of this behavior? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

There are some people who are not sure
for
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about
show examples
the things that they have bought and they have to pay for their more important needs;
however
, there are some causes and solutions for these activities. Emotional
inteligence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
is the most important thing for managing
humen behavours
Correct your spelling
human behaviour
.
Shoping
Correct your spelling
Shopping
it
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apply
show examples
is one of the most
papular
Correct your spelling
popular
show examples
interteinments
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entertainments
entertainment
that people do
it
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apply
show examples
because of
emotions
Correct article usage
the emotions
show examples
that they have when
we
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they
show examples
are buying. We buy
somethings
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some things
show examples
even
we
Correct word choice
though we
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do not need them for
controlling
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control
show examples
that we have not in our
exiting
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existing
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mind that
related
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is related
show examples
to our emotional
inteligence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
, just
for
this
reason that
make
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makes
show examples
us happy. Another deal for buying unuseful objects
it
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apply
show examples
is not having
program
Add an article
a program
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for our costs, if we know
that
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apply
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what
are
Correct pronoun usage
our are
show examples
priorities for our current situation, We
knew
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
that the thing that we buy
it
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apply
show examples
is not necessary. So
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not
Knowing
Change the verb form
Know
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how
manage
Add the particle
to manage
show examples
our emotions and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
having
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have
show examples
a plan for paying
at
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to
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our priorities that are causes
Correct pronoun usage
us for
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for buying
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to buy
show examples
in the wrong way. Having a plan or a
list
for every time that we are going to go
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
can help us to buy things which we need and
there
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that
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are necessary for us to have them. Writing our needs
in
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on
show examples
our mobile phone
check
Wrong verb form
checking
show examples
list
excatly
Correct your spelling
exactly
the time when we
realised
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
have to buy something, and
go for
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
only
on
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apply
show examples
one day
in
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apply
show examples
a week can manage our wrong decisions.
Second
Add an article
The second
A second
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solution is asking
ourself
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ourselves
show examples
at
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on
show examples
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
day, when the time we decide
buy
Add the particle
to buy
show examples
a thing that we are not sure is correct to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we have to ask
ourselfe
Correct your spelling
ourselves
yourself
is it the thing that we can not
countinue
Correct your spelling
continue
our life without that
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
it is
realy
Correct your spelling
really
helpful for not
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
products
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for products
show examples
that are not our needs. So having a
check
Correct your spelling
checklist
show examples
list
and asking ourselves are two
of
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apply
show examples
simple
Correct article usage
the simple
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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for
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of
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managing our
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
behaves
Replace the word
behaviour
show examples
. In conclusion,
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
a satisfied
soping
Correct your spelling
shopping
we need
manage
Fix the infinitive
to manage
show examples
our mind and emotions with some simple things like
Add an article
a check
show examples
check
Replace the word
checking
show examples
list
for
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
and grading our needs by asking of
ourselfe
Correct your spelling
ourselves
yourself
ourself
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and discussed both reasons and solutions, which is good. However, the ideas presented need more development and depth to fully explain the reasons and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and more organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples and details.
language accuracy
There are several grammatical and spelling errors. Consider proofreading your work or using tools like spell check to correct these mistakes. Also, try to use more varied and complex sentence structures to improve readability.
task achievement
Your approach to discussing the reasons and solutions is commendable, and it's clear that you've thought about the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion in your essay, helping to frame your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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