IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events' organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser. In your letter • expressing your interest in the role • requesting more information about it • explaining what experience you have

#month #programme #uk #head #course #participants #events #organiser #interest #role #information
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to request for me to participate
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 social event
programme
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 at the next month. My name is John and I am
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 member of your training
programme
. Next month our team has decided to attend the globalization meeting in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Moreover
, I got
one
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
 information, our head is seeking one person to organize the social events in London and I am the right person for that. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 I did
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of social
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 in my college days.
Additionally
, I have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of interest
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 social
programme
Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
show examples
.
Furthermore
, I need to know about the
progamme
Correct your spelling
programme
 details
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 how many members are going to participate with me in that
programme
.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, as a head of
this
programme
organizer
Add a comma
organizer,
show examples
 you know about me very well. Eventually, I have
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
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 social service
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 all are I endrosed with
letter
Correct determiner usage
this letter
show examples
. So, kindly consider my request and
this
 task is one of my obligation. Yours faithfully, John
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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task achievement
Try to clarify and expand on your request for more information. For example, asking about the types of social events and any specific responsibilities will show your genuine interest.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability. For instance, 'I did a lot of social work during my college days' is more precise.
coherence cohesion
Consider using paragraphs strategically to separate different ideas. Breaking down the letter into clearly defined sections (introduction, interest, request for information, and experience) will make it more coherent.
task achievement
You effectively express your interest in organizing social events.
coherence cohesion
The closing of your letter is polite and formal, which is appropriate for this type of correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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