IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the new
homes
Use synonyms
 should be built
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
style
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
 others think that the
houses
Use synonyms
 should be built
according to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 choice .
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 prefer older
houses
Use synonyms
 because all
houses
Use synonyms
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 similar and
people
Use synonyms
 do not feel jealous
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each other ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
 nowadays if anyone wants to customize their
house
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their needs
then
Linking Words
 it would be great
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
 run. On the one hand ,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live in
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
house
Use synonyms
 because they believe that
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
house
Use synonyms
 has more space outside in order to organise any kind of small gatherings .
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
 , if all men and women have similar
homes
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they feel equal among each other .
For example
Linking Words
 , in Canada ,
Ontario
Correct word choice
and Ontario
show examples
 most of the
homes
Use synonyms
 look similar and it would be easy for
people
Use synonyms
 to buy
houses
Use synonyms
 because they have to look
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inside
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
home
Use synonyms
 in order to make
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
 .
However
Linking Words
 , I believe
people
Use synonyms
 should
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 themselves because they are the owner of the
house
Use synonyms
 and make
according to
Linking Words
 them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , It is thought that
people
Use synonyms
 should build their
houses
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their choices which I believe is the best choice for the long run because it
took
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 a long time to build
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
Use synonyms
 and they have so many preferences
according to
Linking Words
 their kids so they do not want to move to another
house
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , they prefer to build the
house
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their needs .
For example
Linking Words
 , Many
houses
Use synonyms
 in British Columbia are built
according to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
show examples
 needs because they would like to feel like a
home
Use synonyms
 and want to stay for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 period .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , I believe the
people
Use synonyms
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to
built
Change the verb
build
show examples
 the
house
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their satisfaction. In conclusion, some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that new
houses
Use synonyms
 should be built as
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
 ,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
others state that it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 choices to build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
houses
Use synonyms
 . There is no doubt
people
Use synonyms
 like
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
Use synonyms
homes
Use synonyms
 in which more space
Add a missing verb
is availaible
show examples
availaible
Correct your spelling
available
 for gatherings and easy to sell too.
However
Linking Words
 , new
houses
Use synonyms
 should be built on the basis of
Use synonyms
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
show examples
 needs .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Be sure to check for grammatical accuracy and varied sentence structures to make your arguments more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically supports your argument. This will enhance the cohesiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
Use more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures to improve the clarity and depth of your ideas.
Task Achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, giving it a clear beginning and end.
Task Achievement
You included specific examples, which help to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: