Some people think that new houses should be built in the same style as older houses in the local area. Others disagree and say that local authorities should allow people to build houses in the styles of their own choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some
people
argue that the new
homes
should be built
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
style
,
while
others think that the
houses
should be built
according to
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
choice .
Although
people
prefer older
houses
because all
houses
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
similar and
people
do not feel jealous
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
each other ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
nowadays if anyone wants to customize their
house
according to
their needs
then
it would be great
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
run. On the one hand ,
people
prefer to live in
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
house
because they believe that
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
house
has more space outside in order to organise any kind of small gatherings .
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
, if all men and women have similar
homes
then
they feel equal among each other .
For example
, in Canada ,
Ontario
Correct word choice
and Ontario
show examples
most of the
homes
look similar and it would be easy for
people
to buy
houses
because they have to look
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inside
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
home
in order to make
decision
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
.
However
, I believe
people
should
built
Change the verb form
build
be built
show examples
houses
according to
themselves because they are the owner of the
house
and make
according to
them.
On the other hand
, It is thought that
people
should build their
houses
according to
their choices which I believe is the best choice for the long run because it
took
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
a long time to build
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
and they have so many preferences
according to
their kids so they do not want to move to another
house
.
Therefore
, they prefer to build the
house
according to
their needs .
For example
, Many
houses
in British Columbia are built
according to
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
show examples
needs because they would like to feel like a
home
and want to stay for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
period .
Therefore
, I believe the
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to
built
Change the verb
build
show examples
the
house
according to
their satisfaction. In conclusion, some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that new
houses
should be built as
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
homes
,
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
others state that it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
choices to build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
houses
. There is no doubt
people
like
old
Add a hyphen
old-style
show examples
style
homes
in which more space
Add a missing verb
is availaible
show examples
availaible
Correct your spelling
available
for gatherings and easy to sell too.
However
, new
houses
should be built on the basis of
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
show examples
needs .
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Be sure to check for grammatical accuracy and varied sentence structures to make your arguments more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically supports your argument. This will enhance the cohesiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
Use more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures to improve the clarity and depth of your ideas.
Task Achievement
You addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, giving it a clear beginning and end.
Task Achievement
You included specific examples, which help to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: