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Band 5

In many places, new homes are needed , but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people beleive it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

#places #homes #space #country #side #people #beleive #countryside
it
is argue
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is argued
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 that
due to
 population increase new residences are required , but
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
 is
only
Correct article usage
the only
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our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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availiblity
Correct your spelling
availability
,
however
Add a comma
however,
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 some people have any idea that the protection of
this
 area is more vital and new
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 should be built somewhere else. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
Correct article usage
the counrtyside
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counrtyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 should be preserved in order to conserve
animals
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animals'
animal's
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 habitat and less
airpollution
Correct your spelling
air pollution
. the environment and natural resources have been already
dameged
Correct your spelling
damaged
 by
humans
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human
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 activity and lack of knowledge about the importance of wildlife . new city and technology is a result of destroying nature
for having
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to have
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 new space for more
popullation
Correct your spelling
population
.
therefore
, we should not damage more and more .
however
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however,
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 it is understandable that
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 place for living is
demand
Correct article usage
a demand
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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population growth but
demolition
Correct article usage
the demolition
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 of
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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 for
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 house can contribute to air pollution and the extinction of local animals, which are living
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
in
this
 part .
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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this
Change the determiner
these
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 consequences affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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human
s
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apply
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life because our life is connected with nature. another point to consider is that damaging
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 for construction is a temporary solution , which can only
hurts
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hurt
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 our condition .
moreover
 , there
is
Verb problem
apply
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a several empty and useless places in
city
Add an article
the city
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 ,
where
Correct word choice
which
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 are useful for building new homes for residents.
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the management in
this
 case is pivotal.
in addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old houses are an outstanding
opitions
Correct your spelling
option
options
 for
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 problem.
in other words
, we can rebuild new places and renovate
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 places for new and suitable
appartment
Correct your spelling
apartments
 or
skyscraper
Fix the agreement mistake
skyscrapers
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. in conclusion, lack of space is a crucial issue but in my opinion
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 should be preserved
due to
 its effects on our life.
Submitted by yasaman.bozorgzad9 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both sides of the argument, but the response could be more thoroughly developed. Consider expanding on your points and providing more specific examples to demonstrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is adequate but could be clearer with more distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and start with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
More specific examples relevant to the topic would strengthen the essay. Try to provide real-world instances or more detailed scenarios to support your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains it consistently throughout the text.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay's main points.
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