'Celebrity status no longer equates with talent/accomplishments.' Discuss. what are the reasons for your answer
In
this
contemporary epoch, celebrities have always been an interesting subject among the public. However
, in recent years the focus of most famous personalities has shifted from accomplishments to lavish lifestyles. The critics believe that it provides negative examples to young people
. This
essay will delve into the benefits and drawbacks of this
essay and thus
will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
The most reason
to reject the statement is that a relentless number of Correct word choice
important reason
people
are famous due to
their wealthy living style
. They are able to earn a good amount of money by showing their fancy clothes, house, and Correct your spelling
lifestyle
their
cars on various social media sites, and they are successful in Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
because people
like and follow them. For example
, Mr.
Beast, an extremely famous and rich blogger from America earns millions of dollars by showing his Change the punctuation
Mr
luxuries
lifestyle.
On the flip side, youngsters are not interested in recognizing their Replace the word
luxurious
talent
and skills. Instead
, they start following the
social media stars to earn fame. Correct article usage
apply
This
is not a positive development for society as whole
because Correct article usage
a whole
this
showoff
helps them to earn money, which is good for them but in reality, the real Correct your spelling
show
talent
of individuals such
as singing and dancing remains unidentified. Furthermore
, some people
have earned name
and fame through huge Fix the agreement mistake
names
struggle
, which Fix the agreement mistake
struggles
is
not truly recognized by folks.
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Moreover
, everyone works really hard to earn a healthy and wealthy lifestyle for them whether it's through real talent
or by
another way. Change preposition
in
Thus
, everyone has the right to enjoy their wealth, it does not matter however
was it earned. A famous singer, a businessman, or a blogger puts equal Correct word choice
how
efforts
in their job to get recognition.
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
To conclude
, as per the statements mentioned above, although
the focus of celebrities is shifting from talent
to Correct article usage
a luxuries
luxuries
life, still they Replace the word
luxurious
are work
hard for that as well.Change the verb form
are working
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task achievement
Make sure your thesis statement is clear and directly addresses the essay prompt. This will provide a strong foundation for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences support this idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Vary your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can add variety and interest.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples for your points. This will add depth to your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well-supported, making your arguments credible.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example