IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home/allowing student to study at home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ? (TECHNOLOGY)

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The increasing trend of schools and workplaces allowing their workers and students
conducting
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to conduct
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 activities at home is a positive development. There are three reasons, which are enabling
people
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 to
work
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 efficiently, reducing
transportation
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 and accommodation fees, and benefiting the
environment
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.
To begin
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 with, shifting
this
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 annual means of life led to efficiently
execute
Wrong verb form
executing
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 the
work
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 or
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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due to
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ability
Correct article usage
the ability
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 of
individuals
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 to use adequate methods and
environment
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.
People
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 from these categories have myriad ways and conditions to do their
task
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tasks
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. Some
people
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 have
kinesthetic
Add an article
the kinesthetic
a kinesthetic
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, visual, and audio
type
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types
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 of internalizing material or
task
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tasks
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.
In addition
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, some
people
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either
Correct word choice
apply
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love to conduct
in
Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
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 a quiet or crowded type of
environment
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. By allowing youngsters and employees to adapt based on their unique mode, it can bring the best outcome for
individuals
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 in
work
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 or learning
centers
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centres
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.
For instance
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, by permitting studying at home, students are able to study with devices and other media to visualize the material and implement the task
that is
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 being offered by educational institutions.
Secondly
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,
this
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phenomena
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phenomenon
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foster
Verb problem
encourages
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people
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 to reduce
transportation
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 and accommodation
cost
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costs
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.The destination of these
people
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 whether to school or headquarters requires commuting with
transportation
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 and renting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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accommodation that sometimes the payment
are
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is
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change
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changes
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 dynamically or even expensive.
Therefore
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 by permitting to do the obligation remotely, it can lessen the burden to pay these facilities.
For example
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, someone living in Bogor who works in Jakarta requires train facilities and rents a room to live
.
Change preposition
in.
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 By their workplace allowing them to
work
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 from where they live,
this
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 person can allocate the rent charge to other purposes
such
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 as online learning classes to enhance their skills.
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Last
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The last
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 one is regarding environmental benefits. Altering the habit of working or studying significantly contributes to the
environment
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. The reason is that millions of students and workforces will contribute to the amount of commuting and waste of dining out in restaurants. Ultimately, the government can lessen the public
transportation
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 quantity,
people
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 not utilize their private vehicles, and
people
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 cook in their houses. In conclusion, The shift in working and studying is beneficial to
individuals
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 and the natural realm. In
this
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 regard,
individuals
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 can fully utilise its uniqueness regarding the mode of doing things and diverting their budget other than commuting and living.
On the other hand
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, the natural
environment
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 can be even better.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task. You have clearly mentioned and supported your viewpoint on the positive development of working or studying from home.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are absolutely clear. Some sentences could be more precise. This would enhance comprehension and strength of your arguments.
task achievement
Continue to use relevant examples as they strongly support your main points and help illustrate your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure. The introduction sets the stage well, and each paragraph follows a logical sequence. Good work on staying organized.
coherence cohesion
All main points are supported, but try and keep within one or two lines when explaining supporting ideas for clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Excellent introduction and conclusion, effectively summing up your views on the topic.
logical structure
Logical structure and flow is maintained throughout the essay.
supported main points
Main points are well supported with relevant examples and explanations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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