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Band 3

Some people like to try new things for example places to visit and types of food.other prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with.discuss both points and give your opinion.

#people #places #visit #food #points
This
 topic has always been disputable, society's interest in travelling and cuisine choice changes as time
fly
Replace the word
flies
show examples
.
However
, some people always
Change the verb form
like
show examples
likes
Add the particle
likes to
show examples
 do
things
 in their own comfort zone. On the one hand, society always likes to attempt new adventure activities as it encourages them
as well as
 enhances their knowledge from the new experiments.
For instance
,one can like to wander in totally different
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
such
 as Turkey
in addition
 to
explores
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 new sights,
views
Correct word choice
and views
show examples
 of natural surroundings and
tries
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 their authentic food as well.
As a result
, it could moderate their perspective towards new cultures ,customs and rituals.
On the other hand
, individuals like monotonous
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 as they might have been denied to do new
things
 in their routine
as a consequence
 of
this
, they could not experience new
things
.
In contrast
, it would be proven beneficial if someone follows
Correct article usage
a
show examples
routine he/she may become
masters
Fix the agreement mistake
master
show examples
in it.
For example
, individual practices cricket regularly,there are chances
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they would be
veteran
Correct article usage
a veteran
show examples
 in
this
 field.
Moreover
, human always feels secure in their own surroundings as compared to new places. In a
nutshells
Correct the article-noun agreement
nutshell
show examples
, I have to put my pen down to say that experiencing new
things
 in different provinces is better for acquiring knowledge than being in their own region.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

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coherence
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your essay clearer and more cohesive. This will improve both coherence and task achievement.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully and provide more detailed examples to better support your main points.
introduction and conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
logical structure
Your essay does have a logical flow overall.
supported main points
You provided an example related to travels to Turkey and cricket, which adds relevance to your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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