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Band 5.5

Ambition is seen as an important human quality in many societies today. How important is it to want success in life? Is this a positive or a negative characteristic to have

#ambition #quality #societies #success #life
In today’s modern era,
ambition
 is widely regarded as a crucial quality that individuals need to have in order to succeed. The writer believes that
ambition
 is important to succeed in
life
 because it can help
people
 achieve their
goals
 and
this
 is a positive characteristic because it can create a motivated society. It must be acknowledged that
ambition
 is important for individuals who want success in
life
 because it can help
people
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their
goals
.
This
 is because it can be used as motivation and help
people
 go through obstacles and reach
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their targets.
As a consequence
,
this
 can build a strong belief that they are going to achieve their
goals
 and succeed in
life
.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
 Cristiano Ronaldo, a well-known footballer, who had a rare heart disease.
However
, he had a goal of becoming a professional footballer and used it as a motivation,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which he achieved
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at the age of 16. The writer thinks that
this
 is a positive characteristic because it builds a society filled with
people
 having desires. By having more individuals having
ambition
, they can contribute to the community by showing their talents and abilities.
As a result
,
this
 not only
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 them by accomplishing their
goals
 and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 but
also
 the society as a whole as they have more
people
 having
ambition
 contribute to them. Taking everything into account, it should be clear that
ambition
 is crucial for
people
 in order to succeed in
life
 because of helping
people
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their dreams.
Therefore
,it is a positive characteristic because it builds a motivated community.
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and provides relevant examples, some points could be further developed for more depth. Ensuring that each point is fully explored can enhance the overall response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is good, but linking sentences within paragraphs more smoothly could further improve the flow. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively summarize the essay.
task achievement
The use of a pertinent example, such as Cristiano Ronaldo's story, strongly supports the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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