IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Ambition is seen as an important human quality in many societies today. How important is it to want success in life? Is this a positive or a negative characteristic to have

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In today’s modern era,
ambition
Use synonyms
 is widely regarded as a crucial quality that individuals need to have in order to succeed. The writer believes that
ambition
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 is important to succeed in
life
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 because it can help
people
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 achieve their
goals
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 and
this
Linking Words
 is a positive characteristic because it can create a motivated society. It must be acknowledged that
ambition
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 is important for individuals who want success in
life
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 because it can help
people
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fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their
goals
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because it can be used as motivation and help
people
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 go through obstacles and reach
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their targets.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can build a strong belief that they are going to achieve their
goals
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 and succeed in
life
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.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
 Cristiano Ronaldo, a well-known footballer, who had a rare heart disease.
However
Linking Words
, he had a goal of becoming a professional footballer and used it as a motivation,
in
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apply
show examples
which he achieved
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at the age of 16. The writer thinks that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive characteristic because it builds a society filled with
people
Use synonyms
 having desires. By having more individuals having
ambition
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, they can contribute to the community by showing their talents and abilities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 not only
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 them by accomplishing their
goals
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 and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the society as a whole as they have more
people
Use synonyms
 having
ambition
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 contribute to them. Taking everything into account, it should be clear that
ambition
Use synonyms
 is crucial for
people
Use synonyms
 in order to succeed in
life
Use synonyms
 because of helping
people
Use synonyms
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their dreams.
Therefore
Linking Words
,it is a positive characteristic because it builds a motivated community.

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and provides relevant examples, some points could be further developed for more depth. Ensuring that each point is fully explored can enhance the overall response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is good, but linking sentences within paragraphs more smoothly could further improve the flow. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively summarize the essay.
task achievement
The use of a pertinent example, such as Cristiano Ronaldo's story, strongly supports the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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