IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 0.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people
I totally agree/disagree with
this
 opinion because The main reason why I believe/ don’t believe
xyz
Correct your spelling
XYZ
 is because To cite an example,
Moreover
.
For instance
, Another reason why I support/don’t support the notion that XYZ is
due to
 the fact that
As a result
, In conclusion, I completely agree/disagree
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
xyz
Correct your spelling
XYZ
 because and . Given
this
 situation, it seems that
Submitted by dihnehsh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to properly introduce the topic and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
supported main points
Ensure that each of your main points is clearly explained and well-supported with specific examples. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
logical structure
Try to maintain a logical structure throughout your essay, with smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help improve the coherence of your writing.
task achievement
You have attempted to structure your essay with several main points, which is good for task response.
coherence cohesion
Your use of linking words (e.g., "Moreover," "As a result,") helps to maintain a flow in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: