Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have differing views with regard to environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Although
it can
be argue
Change the verb form
be argued
show examples
that losing some
plants
and
animals
which are particular
species
is the main environmental issue, I believe that there are more significant environmental
problems
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
worth paying much attention
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
Firstly
, there is no denying that the extinction of special
plants
and
animals
is
environmental
Add an article
an environmental
the environmental
show examples
problem
to some
extend
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extent
show examples
. For one thing, special
plants
and
animals
extinction will make
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
into chaos.
Such
ecosystem
problems
generally consist of deforestation, other
species
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
as well as
environmental pollution.
Thus
, the circulation of
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
is
imbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalanced
show examples
,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
animals
or
plants
are in danger. For another, that some special
plants
and
animals
might cause the other figures of creatures extremely increase and nature disaster.
For example
. The value
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of wolves
show examples
wolves
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wolves'
wolf's
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death may cause
grass
Correct article usage
the grass
show examples
field
decrease
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to decrease
show examples
since the amount of deer or goats
increase
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increases
show examples
.
Consequently
, numerous
grass
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grasses
show examples
may be eaten by the protected
animals
, which leading flooding or drought.
However
,
environmental
Add an article
the environmental
show examples
problem
is actually an intricate issue, which means
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
include
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includes
show examples
various
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aspects
show examples
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
.
Besides
, the loss of particular
species
is related to other environmental
problems
such
as air pollution and the shortage of resources. Provided that people put an effort
to protect
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into protecting
show examples
plants
and
animals
only, ignoring
other issue
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another issue
other issues
show examples
of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, the
ecosystem
might not balance and sun in a healthy way.
For instance
, fossil fuel provided
from
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by
show examples
vehicles may exert toxic gas, which is harmful
for
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to
show examples
physical health and
plants
’ growth. What’s more, overuse of transportation may cause numerous harmful
gas
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gases
show examples
, contributing
some
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to some
show examples
disease
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diseases
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like lung cancer.
Thus
, in
spit
Correct your spelling
spite
show examples
of protecting
plants
and
animals
well,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other environmental
problems
will influence it again,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
plants
and
animals
are
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
either. In conclusion,
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
losing
Replace the word
loss
show examples
of particulate
species
of
plants
and
animals
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
problem
we have to solve. In
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
run, we can not ignore the other environmental
problems
which
plays
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play
show examples
the main influence
of
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on
show examples
the environment.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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coherence cohesion
The conclusion could summarize the key points more effectively to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by detailed explanations and examples.
task achievement
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance readability and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to make the argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear focus throughout the discussion on environmental problems.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction sets up the discussion well, and the conclusion appropriately addresses the topic.
relevant specific examples
Examples such as the impact of wolves on ecosystems provide relevant illustrations of the argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • habitat
  • extinction
  • climate change
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • sustainable
  • conservation
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