In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present, many
families
have both Use synonyms
parents
working and, Use synonyms
as a result
, they may not have enough Linking Words
time
to take care of their Use synonyms
children
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they often hire people to look after their Linking Words
children
. Some people believe Use synonyms
this
is not suitable for Linking Words
families
. Use synonyms
However
, from my point of view, I completely disagree with Linking Words
this
for two reasons: the lack of correlation between the amount of Linking Words
time
spent looking after Use synonyms
children
and the quality of family life, and the fact that professional babysitters can care for Use synonyms
children
more efficiently than inexperienced Use synonyms
parents
.
First of all, there is no direct correlation between good family relationships and the amount of free Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
parents
spend with their Use synonyms
children
. What is more important is the quality of Use synonyms
time
and the love Use synonyms
parents
provide. Use synonyms
For example
, in my experience, my mother and father didn’t have much Linking Words
time
to play with me when I was young because they had their own business to run during the day. During that Use synonyms
time
, I stayed with a homemaker. Use synonyms
However
, every night, my Linking Words
parents
had dinner with me and gave me a warm hug. I shared the fascinating school moments with my mom and dad, which made me feel loved and supported.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, experienced babysitters help new mothers and fathers look after their Linking Words
children
effectively. Use synonyms
For instance
, new Linking Words
parents
may not know how to handle a crying baby, Use synonyms
whereas
professional caregivers know how to manage Linking Words
such
situations. Linking Words
Moreover
, most babysitters have the knowledge and skills to enhance a child’s emotional well-being, which can contribute positively to their development.
To summarize, I disagree with the statement that hiring people to look after Linking Words
children
is not good for Use synonyms
families
. There are many factors, Use synonyms
such
as love and professional care, that contribute to the well-being of a family. Linking Words
Therefore
, perfect Linking Words
families
should provide the crucial elements necessary for the quality growth of their Use synonyms
children
.Use synonyms
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introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-articulated. To further strengthen your conclusion, you could summarize the main arguments more explicitly.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that these ideas are linked explicitly between paragraphs; this strengthens the logical flow. Hence, consider using more transitional phrases between your points and paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
Excellent use of specific examples from personal experience, which make your arguments convincing and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay demonstrated clear and comprehensive ideas throughout, making it easy to follow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.