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Band 5.5

It is often argued by many that historical objects should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#objects #country #origin
Returning historical objects to their home country has been a topic of much taught and discussion.
while
 some people believe these
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 should be returned to where they originated, I completely disagree with
this
 idea and I will explain now. There are several reasons why returning these
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 is not a good idea, one of which is that the most significant number of
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 are fragile. In fact, many historical objects like ancient pottery, textiles, and jars require special care and handling to ensure their preservation. Transporting these fragile items over long distances can increase the risk of damage even with the best packing and shipping methods.
For example
, when several Egyptian historical items were transported to Egypt, several pieces were damaged, losing their value.
As a result
, it is better for
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
 to be in locations where they are already well preserved.
Additionally
, not all
countries
 have the infrastructure to maintain their original
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
. In fact, many developing
countries
 do not have enough funds or technical methods to protect their
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 from environmental damage or theft.
For example
; Africa deals with hardship and economic situations to satisfy its basic needs, let alone provide a special museum for its
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
, so it is great that
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
 related to Africa are preserved in other
countries
, providing better situations for those
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
. In conclusion, from my point of view, transporting some
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
show examples
 to their original demonstration not only can increase the risk of breaking them but
also
 requires special situations which
little
Correct quantifier usage
few
show examples
 can
countries
 provide, so it is better that they are not transported as much as possible.
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task achievement
While all main ideas are addressed, consider discussing an additional counterargument to fully cover the scope of the topic. Mentioning why some people believe artifacts should be returned would make your position clearer.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by ensuring minor grammatical errors and typographical errors are fixed. For example, 'Return historical objects...' should be 'Returning historical objects...' and 'a topic of much taught and discussion' should be 'a topic of much thought and discussion.'
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices or transition words between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance the reader's understanding of the progression of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Carefully proofread your conclusion to avoid small mistakes, such as 'demonstration' when you mean 'destination.' It should read, 'transporting some artifacts to their original destination...'.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow. You have an introduction, body paragraphs with main points, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of your essay, reinforcing your viewpoint effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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