IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The graphs below show unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education. Summarize1 the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show unemployment rates and average earnings according to level of education. Summarize1 the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #show #unemployment #rates #earnings #level #education #summarize1 #information #features #comparisons
The bar charts compare information about the
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 between unemployment, average weekly incomes, and education degrees.
Overall
, the level of graduation affects not only job position but
also
 earnings so that when the level is higher,
then
 earnings become higher than in other situations like
graduate
Correct article usage
a graduate
show examples
 degree.
According to
 the unemployment diagram,
people
 who have high school diplomas cannot find a job, for the percentage of
this
 group is higher than the other group, and have 5.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In addition
, some
college
,
college
 degree, and graduate
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 with 1.2 percent respectively.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, in the Average earning chart we can see the
people
 who have graduated degrees.
Therefore
, they earn 1500 dollars per week;
furthermore
,
people
 that have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a college degree
college degrees
show examples
college
 degrees, some
college
, and high school diplomas
earning1100
Correct your spelling
earn 1100
, 675, and 600 dollars respectively. Amazingly,
people
 with some
college
 earn 75 dollars more than
people
 with high school diplomas, yet the difference in acceptance rate for jobs was 1.3 per cent.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, college with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: