In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, in many countries, a growing number of parents decide to educate their kids at home. I believe the disadvantages corresponding to
this
issue are more considerable than the minor advantages. On the one hand, a potential advantage of homeschooling may be that it will provide a situation in which
children
can work at their own pace and parents can more easily respond to their
children
’s needs and how they learn best. Another perceived benefit is that homeschooling might be a more convenient choice for families who live in isolated areas with poor transportation.
In addition
, some parents are not satisfied with local schools and they prefer to employ an expert teacher to educate their
children
.
On the other hand
, a primary disadvantage of homeschooling is that home-schooled
children
may lack social skills. At
school
children
learn how to get on with each other,
thus
, homeschoolers will miss out on the social experience that
school
offers. A
further
negative is that private tutors are very expensive and many families fail to pay for them,
consequently
, they tend to teach their
children
by themselves. Since they do not have the adequate knowledge to do that, they are more likely to provide their kids with insufficient lessons which are normally taught by up to ten different teachers at
school
.
Therefore
, it is best for
children
to study at
school
where they are offered a better
overall
educational experience. On balance, it is true that homeschooling would seem advantageous under certain circumstances,
however
, in my view, its negative effects in terms of lack of social experience and deprivation of a sufficient educational system override the advantages.
Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on

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task achievement
To further enhance this essay, it might be beneficial to provide more specific examples or case studies. For instance, mentioning specific countries or types of families who benefit from homeschooling could add depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that there are smooth transitions between paragraphs to further enhance coherence. For example, using phrases such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'Conversely,' can help link ideas together more naturally.
task achievement
It's important to maintain balance among the points supporting and opposing homeschooling. Consider providing more detailed support or examples for the disadvantages to create a more compelling argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a good overview of the essay's arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling.
coherence cohesion
The points made are clear and generally well-supported, making it easy for the reader to follow the essay's arguments.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized curriculum
  • Flexibility
  • Family bonds
  • Safe environment
  • Socialization
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Parental burden
  • Gaps in education
  • Specialized teachers
  • Traditional schools
  • Balance responsibilities
  • Learning opportunities
  • Peer pressure
  • Negative influences
  • Social development
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