Children who grow up in a family short of money are more capable of dealing with problems in adult life than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has always been believed that family background plays a pivotal role in
formation
of Add an article
the formation
children
's mental and personality characteristics. Problem solving, as a mental ability, is no exception, as it could be influenced by many variables such
as financial
status of the family. It is argued by some that despite being at Correct article usage
the financial
Add an article
an economical
economical
disadvantage, Replace the word
economic
children
from impoverished parents develope
a superior ability to tackle obstacles in future. I totally agree with Correct your spelling
develop
developed
this
point of view, and my idea will be supported by rationale and examples in the following essay.
To begin
with, it is imperative to realize the underlying mechanisms involved in driving humans to delvelope
new traits. As a general rule, unless there are essential needs to Correct your spelling
develop
fullfil
, Correct your spelling
fulfil
people
won't have enough motives to devote required
time and energy when it comes to tackling issues. In many ways, coming from a poor family stimulates the same process, as impoverished Correct article usage
the required
children
are usaully
deprived Correct your spelling
usually
from
their basic demands. Change the preposition
of
As a result
, during their life time
, they learn to cope with problems using substitute solutions which do not require money, eventually bolstering their creativity and analytic skills. Correct your spelling
lifetime
Secondly
, it's a common finding to see children
coming from underprivileged families to
start working Fix the infinitive
apply
from
earlier ages as their family's income is not sufficient and needs Change preposition
at
further
supplementation. In my opinion, although
recruiting children
from young ages is socially unacceptable, if these children
are given appropriate jobs according to
their age and talent, they will not only contribute to their family's earnings,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
obtain several vital characteristics such
as inpedendence
and Correct your spelling
independence
self reliance
which are the main characteristics associated with better problem-solving ability. In short, being poor may enforce some changes Add a hyphen
self-reliance
on
Change preposition
in
people
's life
, making them more innovative and decisive.
Turning to the other side of the argument, it is argued by some Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
that mainly due to
financial problems, these children
are less likely to maximise their education, therefore
, regarding Many aspects of life
and it's
related problems, they always lack enough knowledge and expertise. They claim that if the Correct your spelling
its
children
from impoverished families had the chance to persue
higher education, they would become better thinkers who can handle future Correct your spelling
pursue
peruse
life
issues with more efficiency.
To recapitulate, coming from a poorer background undisputedly places individuals at severe disadvantages, however
, there are some merits associated with wrose
financial status as it can potentially Correct your spelling
worse
triggers
Change the verb form
trigger
evolution
of some positive traits. From my experience, Add an article
the evolution
people
who had to deal with Add an article
the shortage
shortage
in their Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
life
would become greater Fix the agreement mistake
lives
probelm-solvers
.Correct your spelling
problem-solvers
problems-solvers
Submitted by mhmdnekooeian on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Try to minimize spelling and minor grammatical errors, as they can disrupt the reading flow. For instance, 'develope' should be 'develop' and 'inpedendence' should be 'independence'.
structure
Ensure that your sentences are concise and clear. Some sentences are quite long and could be broken down further for better clarity.
task response
Expand on the counter-argument slightly more to show a balanced discussion. This will enhance the depth of your essay.
task response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively framing the main points discussed in the essay.
content
The essay uses relevant examples and logical reasoning to support its points, which strengthens the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!