There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays.

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Music

Use synonyms

has always been a part of people’s lives, and it has been a crucial aspect

for

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society and has evolved to a variety of genres and styles.

However

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, most of them listen to modern

music

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and start to forget the traditional one.

Hence

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, in

this

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essay, I will discuss the reason why

music

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is needed in human lives and

presenting

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present

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my opinion

and

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apply

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regarding the importance of traditional

music

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compared to international

music

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To begin

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with,

music

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is a part of an ancestral cultural heritage which was used in many cases

such

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as for entertainment, national anthem, and traditional ritual.

In contrast

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music

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is mostly used for entertainment purposes.

In addition

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music

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can

also

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be used as a form of expressing oneself through the rhythm and

lyric

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lyrics

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of the song. In the international dancing community,

music

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has become a tool to connect dancers from different backgrounds and nationalities to unite and communicate through

music

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. Despite the majority of people listening to international

music

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from famous artists

such

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as Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift, I personally think that traditional

music

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is a crucial aspect.

For instance

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national

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the national

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anthem,

indigenous

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Indigenous

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ritual

song

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songs

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and classic

religion

Replace the word

religious

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songs have purpose and lyrics with deep meaning.

As a result

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this

Linking Words

music

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will always be remembered

due to

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its aim, and it is irreplaceable because of its uniqueness compared to international

music

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whose purpose is for entertainment.

To conclude

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, even though the majority of people listen to international

music

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due to

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trends and

also

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the need to enjoy

music

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, traditional

music

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tends to be as important as international

music

Use synonyms

kellyMon Jun 17 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that your examples are more specific and directly support your points. For instance, mentioning specific traditional songs or cultural contexts would strengthen your essay.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help in making your essay flow better.

task achievement

Ensure to maintain balance in discussing both parts of the prompt equally. Both 'why we need music' and 'traditional vs. international music' should be explored in-depth.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-articulated, providing a clear context about the discussion of music and summarizing the argument effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view and touches upon essential points about the role of music in human life and the importance of traditional music.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays.

Your opinion

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advanatges of this outweigh the disadvanatages?

“Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to increase the length of the prison sentence. Other people, however, believe there are better methods to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?